The Dirty Dishwater Blonde Black Sheep

Dad's anniversary was actually a positive experience!

2011-10-31T22:10:00.001-06:00

Kato and Green Hornet!

The Green Hornet

Well, I think I'm going to try and get back to blogging at this site again. Because after all, wouldn't the life behind "The Skewed Review" be worth telling?

Psycho leather freak

Perhaps not, but I think I'll tell it anyway.

Rustum and I just finished another successful Halloween night. I love that we go all out. Some people were even afraid to venture into our garage-turned-house of horrors. We gave candy to everyone--even the teenagers who were dressed as nothing. But I warned them if they return next year, then they'll have to have legitimate costumes.

Edwina Scissorhands@

Hopefully I can continue this trend of updating just my life.

On a more serious note, yesterday was the anniversary ofthe day I found my father dead inhis bed. I spent almost the entire day with my mom. She and I reminisced, made plans, talked about spirituality, talked about Dad, and most importantly, we solidified the first real steps to a goal my mom has been hoping to achieve for some time now.

The Skin Collector

She has wanted to put together a non-profit organization called A.H.A. I can't remember what the acronym stands for, but it's a wonderful idea. She want to raise money to help no one singular cause, but rather to various causes of differing degrees.

We successfully purchased her new domain address and established an email account for her. When the website is up and running, it can be found at www.yourAHAmoment.org. You can start sending her emails now at founder@yourAHAmoment.org.

The Green Hornet!

I would suggest you all take a moment out of your life and send a simple email to my mom. Find out the details of her organization, and hopefully you can offer some sort of help--no matter how small.

Essentially, we turned what could have easily been a depressing day into a day of beginnings. My mom is on her way to accomplishing a life goal she's had for some time now. I truly look up to her for her selflessness.

Russ and I partying it up at Equality Utah's Intensive Scare Utah!

It's been a while, huh?

2011-08-01T08:06:00.000-06:00

The Skewed Review has been launched officially!!!

I know. It's sort of been a blog already, but now it's a blog with it's own dot com web url! So please, if you love me, go check it out. Muchos Love!

Have you checked the Skewed Review yet?

2010-09-22T08:18:00.002-06:00

I just updated my most recent post on The Skewed Review. It includes a video of her royal Gaganess, so please read and comment on that! Thank you!

Man, has it been a long time OR WHAT?!

2010-09-21T07:01:00.000-06:00

Is there anyone out there who still reads my blog? If so, please forgive me for never, ever updating. The fact is this: I've been working on school so I haven't had time to focus on The Dirty Dishwater Blonde Black Sheep.

However, as part of one of my classes, I've been asked to keep a journalism blog. Well, journalism to an effect. I've chosen to go the route of Perez Hilton on this one. So If all of you could please focus on my class blog for the next few months, I would greatly appreciate it.

The more hits I get, and the more comments posted, the more my professor will see that I'm a viable journalist (sort of). Even if the subjects I talk about aren't exactly pulitzer-prize winning topics.

So go to The Skewed Review and follow me, please! Add me to your blog list so others can find me! Thank you!

Thats http://theskewedreview.blogspot.com!

Oh, and don't forget to see all my journalism work at www.dixiesunlink.com

It's been.... years?

2010-06-27T19:39:00.002-06:00

Someone told me my blog was no longer active. LIES! It's just ME that's not that active, not my blog!

Mr. Dixie rocks.

2010-03-03T11:02:00.002-07:00

Wait for it...

2010-01-25T04:43:00.000-07:00

Thanks for your patience everyone! Worry not, when it dumped three feet of snow here in the valley of pine, I was out and about with my camera, so I got lots of love-rly pictures. As soon as I get TWO AND A HALF seconds to upload them to my blog, I will!

Oh, and looking through my Associated Press style book, I found out that BLONDE with an E is only used for girls. Who knew? Haha. Guess I'll have to change the title of my blog, as well!

I've Come A Long Way, Baby.

2009-12-31T17:19:00.003-07:00

Wow. Looking back over the years... I think I've changed more than Madonna. ALSO, I have found my long lost twin brother. Curious? Continue reading...

Here I am at age 16. Scary, scary, fat and scary.

And that's me at age 19! Skinny, skinny, scary and skinny

Oh! Me at age 21 below with my cuzzins Ali, Sarah, Savvy, and my siblings Laura, Taylor and Kelli. Wait a minute... Mom and Dad once told me I have a long lost twin brother. I think I may have found him....

Horray! I finally found my long lost twin brother! HAHAH, wow. I was rockin' the Adam Lambert look eight years before people even knew he existed. I'm SO fashion-forward!

THE DANGEROUS Wii!!

2009-12-29T08:27:00.001-07:00

Caution: If you are a tall person playing Wii tennis, don't do an extremely violent backhand!

Yes, I broke Rustum's lights playing Wii Tennis. The follow through on my backhand had SO MUCH STRENGTH that I destroyed his ceiling fan lights!

Wii controller + my hand = deadly weapon.

I guess I'll be using some of my scholarship money to pay for this...

HOLY CRAP!

2009-12-16T15:29:00.002-07:00

I cannot believe how busy I've been. It's finals week as well as Christmas. I have literally had no time whatsoever to be blogging-about. As everyone knows, this dumb little blog is becoming somewhat of an unhealthy obsession of mine, but for some reason that obsession doesn't get top billing in my obsessions as of late.

So first and foremost, my No. 1 obsession is school. I've already received four of my six grades. Two P's (they're pass or fail classes) and two A's. My second obsession with this jolly holiday season is Christmas. Presents, decorating, you get the whole idea.

Thirdly is my online gallivanting. With the semester coming to a close, I won't be on the Internet quite as much until January.

So to all four of my loyal readers: Hey, thanks! I may not be around for a month or so, but that doesn't mean I'm gone.

And for all of those incidental readers: Hey, thanks for stopping by. You should come again sometime.

In the upcoming semester we'll see how much blogging I can actually get done, considering my recent promotion of Arts and Entertainment editor for the Dixie Sun. I've already planned the first two issues of 2010. and it's pretty labor intensive. But I do make this one shallow promise: I will return, even if for a fleeting moment, to share with the world my life-altering photography and thoughts (See the previous post of Santa's head on a turkey with boobs for such an example).

Merry Christmas y'all! If you haven't checked out my letters to the editors of The Spectrum of St. George or Deseret News of Salt Lake City, please do so now.

Toodles!

The Dixe Sun!

2009-12-05T08:42:00.001-07:00

Here we are, the staff of the Dixie Sun! Aren't we HOT?

Love it! This is the best job ever!

Caution: Nude Turkey

2009-12-01T15:33:00.003-07:00

Yes, I made this turkey. Those are onions stuffed underneath its skin. The nipples are little carrot tips. Please feel free to copy.

DRIP DRIP DROP

2009-11-24T16:21:00.004-07:00

Here's the latest for my photography class! This week's assignment: water. I took a more macro view on this assignment. As always, Scout tagged along because for some reason she finds my taking pictures extremely interesting.

Awwww! I love my Scouty!!!
Water on the pine trees!

Water on a THISTLE!

Since there's an abundance of pine up here in the Valley of Pine, here's MORE WATER ON PINE NEEDLES!!

A wet, wet apple.

GUESS WHAT? MORE WET PINE NEEDLES! HAZZAH!

And another sweaty apple!

Well, Spanksgiving is coming up. Hopefully I'll get some uber-rad pictures of the old Fam Damily that I can share with all of thee. Hey, thanks for reading my humble blog! Happy Thanksgiving to y'all!

If You EVER Doubted How Cute I Am...

2009-11-16T08:36:00.006-07:00

Then let me just show you how cute I WAS!

I'm having so much fun on that bike!
Dad's old motorcycle...

Thanksgiving one year at G&G Pratt's place

Awwww! Brotherly love.

I still get sleepy after huge meals to this day!

Holy crap. We are SO FLIPPING CUTE!

Dad and ME at Veyo pool!!!

Mmmmm... DIRT! Delicious!

Please note my cape and uh... skirt?

Taylor looks JUST LIKE PAYSON! I wish I could wear socks like that today.

Okay, that's not me as a little kid, but I did come across this picture from when I worked at Rocky Point Haunted House. (The scariest haunted house in America, so said FANGORIA.) Yes, that REALLY IS ME.

I think this was one of Laura's birthdays. Me, Grandpa, Colin on Grandpa's lap, Taylor with something in his mouth, and Laura. Does that doll have a party hat on too?

Ahhh... my beefier days. Taylor, Laura, Colin, my chubby red-headed self (hair is dyed, of course) and Madre. Dad took the picture.

Apparently the Grinch stole Laura's Christmas!

These are posted mainly for my own amusement, but if someone else can get amusement from them as well, then so be it. Until next time! TOODLES!

SCREW THANKSGIVING!

2009-11-10T12:45:00.005-07:00

We're skipping right over to Christmas this year! We put up two of our three trees, just because we were in the mood to!

This year, we put ONLY red lights and red ornaments on the 6 foot tree. Instead of putting it up in the family room, we put it in the front room. And instead of putting it on the ground, we put it on a table so now it almost touches the ceiling in the pioneer house! It looks SO FLARKING RAD! I only put one picture in, because the red was REALLY overwhelming. Haha... so there it is!

Below is our NATURE tree! Totally Mom's idea! We took branches from some of our cottonwood trees, and put them in the Christmas tree! We also got real bird's nests, (that'll be a bitch when they come back for the spring and find all their homes gone!) and pine cones all from our yard. It's rad-tastic!
Below is the tree all lit up for the night!

Below is one of the bird nests that we swiped from the great outdoors.

Below... if only we had the tree up when we were doing our "reflection" project for photography class!!! Sonofa... oh well. I love that picture, though!

And finally, THIS is what the two trees look like from outside when you are walking up to our dining room door! Don't you just LOVE IT???

Thanksgiving is for Fa-la-la-la-LOSERS! It's just filler between the two most important holidays of the year: Halloween and Christmas! Take that you dumb PILGRIMS!

"Wisdom"

2009-11-07T14:28:00.002-07:00

This week's assignment for photography class is "Wisdom." My reflection pictures, proud of them as I was, were SO TYPICAL. Almost everyone else in the class had stuff reflecting off water. So this week, I want to step outside the box and bring an interesting photo to class. I hope to have something the rest of the students hadn't considered taking a picture of. So I'm NOT GOING TO TAKE A PICTURE OF MY GRANDPA'S FACE! Something tells me the entire class is going to bring in pictures of old people.

So here's one I just snapped real quickly while I was at the college library. It's not a final picture, just a jumping off photo. I thought, books? Wisdom? Yes? No? Feedback, and also suggestions on other pictures that could portray "wisdom" without just going cliche with the old people, would be SO GREATLY APPRECIATED! Thanks, y'all!

"Reflection"

2009-11-05T00:44:00.003-07:00

These are posted on Facebook as well... but for some reason I feel they don't have the same impact when they're shoved all together with someone saying "Just got home from work, and I'm SO TIRED," a poll asking what your favorite Care Bear is, and a quiz to see what your munchkin name would be. So I give you, my entries for this week's photography class.

These were all taken in Pine Valley with exception of the rising sun reflecting on the black glass, which was taken at Dixie State College!

2009-11-02T08:40:00.000-07:00

Well, there I am on the left.

If only I had the $$$ to make it a truly awesome Willy Wonka costume! Laura was Elliot from "Scrubs," and Matt was Dr. House. That little rooster is Payson.

It's a vegas TRIP

2009-10-24T17:13:00.006-06:00

I went to try out some of the effects of my new camera on the Vegas lights. See how much fun I had?!

Below: Vegas before the drugs

Below: the drugs are kicking in
Below: cellophane flowers of yellow and green

Below: did I just skip through time?

Below: so THIS is what it's like winning the Nobel Peace Prize!

This one is by far my favorite. I'm surprised I didn't have an epileptic seizure while putting these pictures up.

Until next time! Toodles!

Aren't I Cute??

2009-10-20T09:28:00.003-06:00

I went to the Dental Hygienist School here at Dixie State to do my friend a favor. Her 2:00 appointment didn't show up, and she needed someone to come in so she can do a filling. Well... It's no secret, I LOVES MY CANDIES... so no doubt I had a filling or two she could do.

The sad part is, since they were LEARNING while DOING, I had to keep my mouth open this wide for almost THREE HOURS. I know it's true, normally I can't keep my mouth shut, but I think this was the one time I was longing to do so.

I love the BONO glasses they put on me. Since I have zero dollars, my friend Nicole hooked me up for free what would have cost about 50 bucks! THANKS NICOLE! And now, I'll get to work on making new cavities so that I can continue to contribute to the Dixie State Dental Hygienists School learning environment!

*unwraps Charleston Chew*

Should I Change My Blog Name?

2009-10-19T13:27:00.003-06:00

Considering I haven't dyed my hair platinum in a while, I am not sure if the name of my blog is appropriate anymore. Since my hair is its natural color, do you think I should re-name this humble blog "The dishwater-blonde black sheep?"

Just some food for thought, in case your mind was hungry.

Just a little shout out to Russ

2009-10-12T10:24:00.003-06:00

He's my boy!

And here's the dinner he made me last night...
Hamburgers, fries, funyans, cheetos, sprite, pepsi, rice, squid, and who knows what else.
Love ya!

Halloween is the BEST TIME OF THE YEAR!

2009-10-08T12:17:00.001-06:00

OKAY, so I was out shopping for my Halloween costume yesterday, and parked out in front of the costume shop was THIS MINIVAN! Whatever mom this minivan belongs to is friggin AWESOME!

If I had a minivan... I would totally do this to it! On advice from Beth...I'll post pictures of my costume when it's all put together! Toodles!

My Halloween Costume...

2009-10-07T08:53:00.003-06:00

If I only had the money to make this costume perfect... but alas, it might be the ghetto version. I was originally going to be Tim Burton, but I wasn't sure how many people would get it... then I was going to be Edward Scissorhands but I don't think I am thin enough, and that costume could cost a bundle. Then... it came to me... (or rather, it came to Madre...) what character would be recognizable to adults and my little niece, and they would love it and know it to be a Tim Burton character? SO I DECIDED ON...

(drum roll please...)

WILLY WONKA!

(Don't tell Addi... I want to surprise her!)

The moon...

2009-10-03T20:28:00.002-06:00

Check out how bright the moon is tonight.

Just thought i'd share with you.

Fall into Autumn. Get it?

2009-10-01T06:57:00.016-06:00

OKAY! So thank me very much for taking the time out of my busy schedule to give you some more beautiful pictures. While you are looking at them, I have something for you to ponder. Have you ever seen a guy with his shirt off from far away, and thought that he was really tan? Then when you get closer, you see he's just REALLY hairy? Hmmm. Anyway.

Here's my favorite photo of the bunch. This is like, National Geographic stuff I swear!

...

Here's the autumn leaves just starting to change color. I wish that could be job... hang on a branch and change color. Everyone would appreciate me for doing nothing. (I mean, besides photosynthesis... blah blah blah)

...

Here's a lovely little leafy frame-up of the house. The cottonwood trees leaves turn the same color as my pee after I eat a lot of asparagus! Coincidence? Maybe...

...

The tall, tall pines in front of the old Jacobson house. The leaves on the right look as if they've been softly gilded by the autumnal fairies. Alas, poetry. M'thinks t'was some poets who bask'd in the glories of peyote.

...

The red apples are simple a BURDEN on the branches of these poor apple trees. The odd thing is, these trees were barren up until last year.

Suddenly, they started producing again with ABUNDANCE.

...

From green, to gold, to red. All three colors of the apple leaf cycle summed up in one branch. Thanks for the summary, branch! Catch ya later.

Wow. Now THOSE are some fiery colors! I wish I lived somewhere that I could just step outside every morning and see something as spledificous as this. Oh wait... I DO! IN YOUR FACE!

...
The focus is on the leaf, I did that on purpose. I wanted the apples to be apparent, but out of focus. Can't you see I've got an artist's perception for photography? CAN'T YOU SEE THAT? Because if you can't, I truly feel pity for you.

...

There are lots of green things that are turning red, but the stuff that's usually red is turning brown, with the exception of this LOUD frigging flower that just REFUSES to wilt. It's like Barack Obama. It just HAS to bright so everyone can't help but look at it!

...

You can see on the mountain the yellow and gold that's starting to take over. This tree on our property is the most gold of all out trees right now. I wait in anticipation for more reds, though.

Please note the giant clock in the background. It's not the focal point of the photo, but it is the subject. I SO SOUND LIKE I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, HUH???

...
Here's our one of two tress that produces yellow apples. I've yet to try them because they're usually a little too tart for me, but they sure do make great pictures! Oh, they also lure deer into our yard, and are pretty good ammo to throw at cows' heads.

...

Here she is! The love of my life! I can't do ANY sort of photography without taking a couple of minutes with my favorite model, Scout. I tried to get her to close her mouth for some shots, but she, being the primadonna diva that she is, simply refused.

...

Now just LOOK at those colors and tell me that I am NOT a super photographer! I dare you! If it weren't for me, this splendour of natures glory wouldn't be on film at ALL. It would just be sitting there for only LOCAL people to appreciate. Thank me very much.

...

I was a little sad I couldn't find one of the golden cottonwood leaves stuck in the branches of a pine tree. I thought that would make an EXCELLENT photo. Then, after much deliberation, I realized I could PUT A LEAF into the branches of a pine! How GENIUS am I?

...
Just a little bit of framework here. The lovely house framed by leaves. I love the shadows and the few dead branches that can be seen. That house sure is in good shape considering it was built in 1876! Pioneers are the sh*#!

A little close-up leaf action, if you haven't already guessed. Yup. Leaves. They're the perfect model. They never cry when you beat them. See the new part of the house in the background? Pretty rad, huh???

...
The tops of the cottonwoods, oh how they shine.
They're golden and yellow and really quite fine.
There is just one problem with all of these leaves
Something that irks me, really it peeves.
The leaves tend to fall and tumble about,
It's raking, you see, that gives me this pout.

I know this picture is on here twice, but I love it, so you get to see it again! Buh-bye!

2009-09-28T10:34:00.003-06:00

These are pictures someone else took... my camera was tucked FAR AWAY in a waterproof bag. I'm glad someone else took pictures to show how deep the water was in the narrows!

For the rest of the pictures of our Zion trip... continue to the next post! Love ya!

LOTS OF PICTURES!

2009-09-16T09:45:00.019-06:00

OKAY... since I've been so busy in school, I didn't have time to put together a bunch of little posts and organize the pictures. SO... here's some choice pictures of the thousands I've been taking, in absolutely NO PARTICULAR ORDER! Enjoy! *muah*

Leaves at Zion... I like taking close up pictures of leaves.

What a beautiful day it was in Zion. The tree on the left was covered in vines.

Branches, leaves, and the sun. I'm so artistic, no?

Here's the group of us before we hiked the narrows at Zion. I didn't really take pictures of the narrows themselves, because we were usually in waste-high water, and I was afraid I'd get my $800 camera wet.

Rustum with vato...

AND... vato in the firepit!!!

That's COLE on the left, RUSTUM in the middle, and DEB on the right!

My little bro TAYLOR... in deep thought I suppose

PAYSON... in socks... hilarious.

ADDI and her horse that she made in pre-school!

Mom and I went up to Salt Lake to help Matt and Laura paint their BRAND NEW HOUSE! We took a break and we all did some interpretive dances. Here's moms!

Matt's Riverdance

My plant dance...

Laura's roach-hands dance!

These images are backwards... here's the bathroom almost finished being painted UTAH UTES RED!

Here's Matt watching Laura get stuff hung on the finished product.

Here's Laura painting the bathroom!

My VERY FIRST baseball game! Me and MA lookin' cute!

Here's Mom takin' a break from painting....

This is a before picture of the bathroom, and me showing off my ever-growing GUNS!

This is the picture I painted for Matt and Laura, and it was also the inspiration for the colors of their living room and kitchen!

A before picture of the kitchen...

A before of the living room....

This was the most expensive pretzel in the entire world. It wasn't even that good. But I had fun at the ballgame!!!

And finally, here's Laura, Matt, and Matt's parents at the Bees game. The Bees won, with a WALK OFF HOME RUN! (I think that's the term..) But anyway. Those are the pictures... I have more but dangit, I gotta get to class!

I HAVE BEEN UBER-BIZZAY!

2009-09-02T13:45:00.002-06:00

I hardly have the time to even check my email, let alone post stuff on my blog! I have so many cool pictures and things to post, but I just don't have the TIME right now because of the 12 credits I'm taking!!!!! Everyone please be patient with me, and don't lose interest in my blog! There may be some extra time between posts, but don't stop reading! I will try to get all the fun and fabulous crap that I do up at the first possible convenient time for me!

Thanks to EVERYONE who reads my blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MORE PICTURES!!

2009-08-31T09:57:00.003-06:00

The Mills Flat Fire turned the SUN RED!!! This is NOT a sunset.
A bee and a pole

flowers on the to Enterprise

Enterprise mill

boarded up windows in Enterprise

Wow... Enterprise has lots of cool buildings. This cafe was OPEN

This store is actually in business right now.

Pretty pink flower outside the Tabernacle in St. George

I was on a black and white kick recently.

This is a leaf outside Dixie College

Some New Pictures...

2009-08-25T08:42:00.005-06:00

Okay, here are some of my favorites of the 700 pictures I've taken with my cherry new camera! :)

By the way, I haven't touched any of these photos with photoshop!

(except to make them black and white)

Those are rainclouds... not smoke :)
The chimneys of the Pine Valley House! That white room is new...
What a perfect rainy morning this was... I thought all the clouds were AWESOME

This plant looks like a girl to me... I think her name should be Amber... Amber Waves.

The Pioneer Pump! This house will be sustainable after 2012!

Madre bought me these keys, and they were brand new iron... I set them outside in Pine Valley for a few months, and VOILA! Something the Faja would be proud of!

Another shot that shows the new portion of the house's marriage with the pioneer portion.

The sunlight was PERFECT for this shot. I wish I could remember what time it was I took this picture!

Um, can you say SO FLIPPIN' CUTE?!?!?!?!?!?!

I love these shots where her snout is right up in the camera!

Good gravy, Scout. If we could show you to the world, there would be no war.

Dad put up this post out front of the house...

Here are the damaged real ivory keys on the old player piano in the Pine Valley Pioneer Home. The piano is SO out of tune!

I was taking pictures of all the old doorknobs in the house, and Scout came over and I could sense she wanted to have her picture taken. I love her "reverse freckles." She's got a few little white spots on her cheeks. It makes it look like she was standing under you while you were making bread dough.

AND FINALLY! Yet another in a series of pictures that have been painted for Rustum. This goes in his kitchen, and it is BY FAR my favorite of all the paintings I've done for him. I have two more that are going to go in the kitchen, both with themes similar to this one.

As soon as I'm done collecting all the doorknob pictures that I want... I'll post it. I'll be keeping my eyes open for interesting DOORKNOBS!

MY NEW CAMERA!!!!

2009-08-24T08:40:00.005-06:00

CHECK THIS ACTION OUT!!

I just BARELY got a new camera... because I'm focusing on journalism, and I plan on taking my OWN friggin' pictures. I'm not going to allow my wonderful stories to be soiled by some mediocre photographer's crappy pictures. This camera set me back almost $1,000 bucks with all the stupid accessories, but it was WORTH it! I love it, I LOVE IT! I'll be posting my uber-rad pictures that I take here on my blog, and journalism related pictures on my news blog! (http://somewhatskewed.blogspot.com/)

WOO HOO!

Oh Deer!

2009-08-20T08:49:00.006-06:00

Pine Valley is a BEAUTIFUL place. Here's a few photos of yours truly, the niece and nephew, and some of my deerest friends.

I was just testing the camera here. I can hardly believe my mole is that huge.

Here's Bambi's father, the king of the forest. He was cleaning up all the apples that had fallen from our trees in the orchard. Come to think of it, Bambi's dad wasn't around for his childhood... would he be called a "Deadbeat Buck?"

Oh my goodness. Could there BE a more LOVEABLE face? LOOK AT HER! She's smiling at the camera because there are deer in the orchard that she can chase. It's her passion in life.

There was a gang of bucks hanging out in the orchard. I guess it was Bambi's dad's drinking buddies. I wonder,when Bambi's mom got shot, did Bambi's dad curse in deer language because now he was forced to have soul custody?

This picture is a little old, but still needs to be shown. On Memorial Day, there was a town picnic up in the campgrounds, with LIVE MUSIC! Addi was very intrigued by the violin player, and she sat and watched in amazement. I wonder what she would do if she found out her dad used to play the violin?

This buck looks like he's saying, "HEY! Get away from there! Don't you touch my apple! Do I have to come over there? Why do we have to go through this every weekend Bambi? Doesn't your mother teach you any manners? I swear if you don't behave I'll take you back to the thicket RIGHT NOW."

How adorable! Addi and Payson up in the campground. I love how this picture doesn't look posed in ANY way. Addi has a knack for looking "candid" whenever she's aware that she's getting her picture taken.

Here's a really great shot of some "Buck Butt." These three manly deers turned tail and ran the second I got close enough to get some better pictures. It's almost as if I were trying to serve papers ordering them to pay "fawn support."

Yes, I know what you're thinking. Your thinking, "Holy crap, he looks like a HERO in this picture!" And I have to reply, "The reason I look like a hero, is because I am one."

Yeah, these deer are living the good life right now. Plenty of open fields to romp around in, lots of yummy apples to eat in the Jacobson orchard, and all the sexy DOES you could ever want. But just wait until the hunt in October. I've got some bad news for Bambi, because the state is going to have to take custody of him when his dad's head is hanging in someone's lodge.

BEWARE... THE NEXT PHOTO IS FUNNY, BUT IT SHOWS A LITTLE BIT OF SKIN........

The sign said "Bear Country." And I thought it said "Bare Country..." So.... what else could I have done? DON'T BE OFFENDED! I'm just showing the SIDE of my cute little bottom.... there's no cracks to be seen. Please laugh, don't be angry. I had to share.

AND FINALLY....

I painted these to hang above Russ's bed. He wanted an Egyptian painting that spelled out his name in hieroglyphics. We ultimately decided that doing three paintings would be even more rad than one... and so... there you have it!

Happy Birthday Addi!!!

2009-08-17T16:36:00.003-06:00

Well, it was Addi's 4th birthday party, and she got to pick out whatever outfit she wanted to wear for the day, so she chose the dress she wore at Laura's wedding. Here's a couple of highlights from the party.

Above, she was being a little DIVA, telling us she was tired of dancing around. Madre said all she needed was a cigarette, and this picture would be complete. (This dress is NOT the wedding dress, by the way... this is her Sunset Boulevard dress... because she had a Gloria Swanson attitude when she was wearing it!)
In this picture... yes, she's being a DIVA again. She wasn't going to be happy until Grandma got her purple chapstick open and ready for application.

Now THERE'S a winning smile! Here's the card Grandma and I gave her! It's good for a day out with Grandma and Uncle MJ, and she can pick out a TOY, and an OUTFIT, and have DINNER at PIRATE ISLAND PIZZA! HOLY S*%$!

Here's my impression of Payson. "BALL! BAAALLL! BALL! BALL! BALL! ................... BALL!"

Isn't she cute? Even though she's hilarious when she's in DIVA mode, I like her better like this! HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my first niece ADDI!

Vato Is An Upside-down Lamp!

2009-08-12T17:00:00.003-06:00

Russ had to take Vato to the vet because he had something wrong with his ear. So now, he gets to wear this lovely dish for two whole weeks! If Russ's satellite dish ever breaks, I think we could just stick Vato on the roof.

EVERYONE visit my little journalism project site.

http://somewhatskewed.blogspot.com

THANKS!

Somewhat Skewed

2009-08-12T09:21:00.002-06:00

If anyone gets the chance, you can check out my little "Newspaper" blog :)

http://somewhatskewed.blogspot.com

I'm On The Paper!

2009-08-06T11:34:00.002-06:00

Ok, so I've taken step one to achieving my new dream of becoming a journalist. Since I have TONS of theatre electives under my belt, I figured, "HEY, why don't I just make them all OBSOLETE?" So that's what I did.

I'm focusing my education on Communications now, and hopefully I can get to be a professional journalist. I'm now officially on the staff of the Dixie Sun, (which is the college newspaper here in St. George...) and I've submitted an idea for my very own column. If the editor decides I'm super enough to have my own column is yet to be seen, but nonetheless, I'm still on the staff.

SO. I've talked about putting together my other blog which is going to be strictly news/movies/book based, but with my own little twist. So I'm working on that right now. Hopefully it will be as entertaining to those of you who read it as it was to me as I wrote it!

I CAN DRIVE!

2009-08-04T14:15:00.000-06:00

YAY!!

Today I Can Drive Again! (Hopefully)

2009-08-03T08:43:00.003-06:00

Today I'm off to the DMV to get my license back! (I had to go on chemo to fix my eyesight... I know, I don't understand it either, and I have been on some pretty good seizure medication, so I don't have to worry about THAT anymore!) Since my old license photo is rather outdated, I'm sure they'll want a new one. WHAT A PERFECT TIME TO HAVE A HUGE BREAK-OUT!

I can count three on that cheek right there. Wow... that one by my ear looks like a whitehead, but it's NOT. It's just so large, that it's picking up the LIGHT from above! SICK! I suppose that one looks like it could be a mole... (even though it's not...) I was even debating putting some makeup on before I take my license picture. I wish that when I had zits, they would only be like, ONE AT A TIME, and SMALL and in a place like... under my chin or something. But no. HOWEVER... I've lost a lot of weight recently, and I like the way my face looks in this picture. (Minus the blemishes) So it's not ALL bad!!!

Thanks Josh!

2009-07-27T08:45:00.003-06:00

As pretty much everyone knows now, Scott Pederson passed away, and his funeral was this past Thursday. He was awesome, and he gave his life to save his kids from drowning. He's a hero, and although I didn't know him as well as lots of my friends, we still got to do the two-man show "Dumbwaiter" together, and it was a blast. He and I were the two hitmen, and Josh Scott directed it. I only wish I would have taken the time to get to know him a lot better.

That's Scott on the right, me on the left. He was ALWAYS so hilarious! It was a pleasure working with him. Between Scott and Josh, there was never a dull nor tedious moment during this show!

It's... interesting I guess...

2009-07-26T19:31:00.002-06:00

So my buddy Russ has this whole Egyptian fetish, and I've been painting some pictures for him lately. He recently found a small picture of an Egyptian railroad poster that he wanted me to turn into a big painting. So this is on a two-foot tall canvas. Pretty interesting, eh?

It's not the Victorian poster art that I love, and it's not retro... but I like it and am proud of it because I REALLY got detailed with it!

I Love Gettin' Lovin!

2009-07-25T12:52:00.000-06:00

Everyone thinks I'm great! :)

STOP COW, STOP!

2009-07-21T16:08:00.003-06:00

This was in Pine Valley. Mom loved that this cow/bull was just grazing by the stop sign. We drove up to the cow, and yelled "HEY! KNOCK IT OFF!" really loud, and the cow gave me this really pissed off look, like it was saying, "Don't you tell me what to do, suckah!" And Ma said she was scared the cow might try to ram us. I guess I'm pretty good at getting a cow's goat. (Cow's goat? Doesn't that just BLOW your mind?)

And here we are! Outside Jimmy John's in St. Jorge. Yours truly, Laura and Matt. What a fun weekend we had! The five of us, (Laura, Matt, Ma, Colin and me) all causing a ruckus in Pine Valley. Love to my bro and sis who are going to move into their new home PRETTY SOON!!

The THREES of ME

2009-07-16T18:36:00.004-06:00

Alrighty, so a while ago, I did my 99 TRUTHS, and now my cuzzin' Alexis has sent to me the THREE'S OF ME. So... enjoy.

Three names I go by:

1. EmCHAY

2. You little bastard!

3. Inmate #577324

Three Jobs I have had in my life:

1. One I can't remember

2. One I don't wanna talk about

3. The one I have right now.

Three Places I have lived:

1.In a house

2.In the state of Utah

3.In the state of denial

Three Favorite drinks:

1. Gasoline

2. Powdered Milk (powdered form only... no water)

3. Goat's blood

Three TV Shows that I watch:

1. Sewing with Nancy

2. The Farm Report

3. Any channel with snow on it

Three places I have been:

1. Here...

2. There...

3. And you guessed it......................................... over here again.

People that text me regularly:

1. Sasha and Malia Obama

2. The Obama dog, whatever it's name is.

3. Kim Jong Il. (He's planning something. Shh. Don't tell anyone.)

Three of my favorite foods:

1. Babies

2. Puppies

3. Rare stamps and documents

Three friends I think will respond

1. Me

2. Myself

3. And..... you guessed it.............................. Russ

Three Things I am looking forward to

1. New socks

2. Hip reduction surgery

3. December 21, 2012

Three of my fav. things

1. Doorbells

2. Sleigh bells

3. Schnitzel with noodles

Guilty Pleasures...?

2009-07-16T12:02:00.010-06:00

Or Unhealthy Obsessions?

I want to have children, but there are only five women with whom I'd like to be a proud parent. It's a little unnatural considering two of them are dead, but if they were alive, I would surely be arrested for stalking five fabulous women. As of now, however, I may only be arrested for stalking three of them.

Miss Parker Posey. She's my indie queen. Although she's been going mainstream lately, she's still my off-the-beaten-path movie princess. From her fabulous wardrobe in "Party Girl," to her fabulous portrayal of a snobby debutante in "House of Yes," one would have to be blind to miss out on her ab-fab existence. Look at that poise! The Poise of Posey. Of course, if you haven't seen any of the Christopher Guest films, "Waiting for Guffman," "Best in Show," "A Mighty Wind," and "For Your Consideration," you are MISSING OUT. It's obvious that she and I would create adorable children.

Miss Audrey Hepburn. She turned the tables on beautiful starlets. Where once it was super to be busty and blonde, Audrey came around and made it chic to look slender. Look at those almond eyes! She was absolutely fabulous in "Breakfast at Tiffany's," but who can refute that? And of course she was beautiful in the far superior "Sabrina," although the movie was flawed because Miss Hepburn was gorgeous before and after she went to Paris. From tear-jerkers like "Roman Holiday," to suspense-comedies like "Charade," she is the ultimate Cinema darling! Oh, and don't forget "My Fair Lady!" *sigh* Oh Audrey... if only I were alive during the 60's. I wonder if she got a chance to freeze her eggs? I need to look into that...

Lady Gaga. Some people say she's the new Madonna. WHAT? Please. Lady Gaga is far superior to Madonna in every way, shape, and form. She's definitely cuter. If I ran into Madonna in a dark alley, I would scream, because she's a hideous old troll who hit her last peak with the album "Music." If I ran into Lady Gaga in a dark alley, I would jump for joy. Her album "Fame" is so interesting! There are no two songs alike, and the genres range from dance, to hip hop, to up-beat ska. She's versatile and ever-so-gorgeous. And who can resist her super-cute outfits and eccentric personality? She's got ultra-intriguing music videos, and I bet she's a blast to kick it with. Yes, our babies would be beautiful.

Although I find Audrey super-sexy, please don't misunderstand that I don't appreciate the beauty of the blonde bomshell! Yes, I know that Miss Marilyn Monroe wasn't the first boob-a-licious platinum-topped babe to grace the silver screen, but she definitely was the most popular. Jayne Mansfield can take a flying leap, because Marilyn is the definitive end. She was always the leading lady in musical comedies like "Some Like It Hot," (one of the first drag movies!) and "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes." (Diamonds are a girl's best friend, y'all!) She was also able to show the world her dramatic side before her tragic end in movies like "Bus Stop" and "Niagara." It's true she had a troubled life, but I'm sure she's in heaven right now, looking down proudly at everything she left for posterity. Marilyn+Matt=freakin' good lookin' kids.

And finally, Lady Miss Kier! This deeeliteful darling was once the face we all adored in the sensational group "Deee-lite." It was she who brought us the ever-so-wonderful song "Groove Is In The Heart," which basically kicked off the dance craze, and was the start of everything we know to be dance today! Her sense of style has always been supah-fab. Today, she is off on her own, with a solo career and many appearances at festivities world-wide. I was fortunate enough to see her spin in Park City some years ago, and she is as gorgeous as ever. If you are not familiar with any of her recent work, go pick up the album "Essence," and listen to Miss Kier's lovely vocals. Can you imagine the Deee-lovely children the two of us could make? I can.

Our Production Photos!

2009-07-11T18:05:00.005-06:00

Alrighty, so we have one more show to do, and then it's all over. So, if you didn't get to see it, you MISSED OUT! But hopefully, I can provide you with the next best thing... some of my favorite production shots!

My first entrance! The line is, "Who the hell is that?" I can't tell you why Bryan is in the middle of tugging his trousers up... too much explaining, and this is going to be a long blog... so the less explaining... the better.

My line here is, "Oh you FILTHY SWINE! LEAVE HER ALONE!" By the way, these pictures aren't in the order they are in the show. I'm WAAAYYY too lazy to actually PUT them in order.

"PLEASE, this costume is only rented!" Yeah. This is the non-climax. Everyone said it was a super ending... I beg to differ, though.

As I'm grabbing Bryan's butt, I'm saying, "Now that's enough of that!" Bryan's faces are like Master Card commercials. Priceless.

My character is obsessed with his mistress... and the fact that she's cheating on him. Who would have thunk it? Here, I'm about to tell my "on the side girlyfriend" that "My wife and I are playing on the bed, but if all four of us join in, we could use the table!"

What you can't see in this picture, but what Karack (Josh) is obviously noticing is... that Simone's (Hannah) nun outfit is non-existent in the back... and she's exposing full undies!

This is Helga (Dani) and I trying not to notice "nun mit bare bum."

Karack wanting a contribution to his reindeer fund. Yeah, I realize it doesn't make a lick-a-sense. Doesn't in the show, either.

I need to pee something fierce, but Stanley won't allow me to, because he's hiding my wife in the bathroom. It's a sordid little show.

I'm just going to let this picture speak for itself.

Stanley and Claude, fighting over the last room... and Heinz, the manager, who is on his way to a drag ball. Well, not really, but wouldn't that make the show even more fun?

Claude mistakes Brenda (Katy) for Helga, and jumps in bed with her. This is definitely the highlight of the show for me. I get to sleep with Katy.

Oh wait, THIS is the highlight of the show for me. So soft...

You See, We're British...

2009-07-10T19:09:00.004-06:00

AND WE'RE ON HOLIDAY!

Here we are, from left to right, Josh as Karack, Me as Claude, Katy as Brenda, AJ as Heinz, Bryan as Stanley, Danalee as Helga, and Hannah as Simone. We are all enjoying our "5 Hour Energy" shots before curtain! If you haven't seen our show, "We're British and we're on holiday," is the best line from "Bedfull of Foreigners." :)

ugh

2009-07-09T08:18:00.002-06:00

I've had to change my "hit counter" like 7 times...

because the websites that offer them, keep screwing up!! Hopefully, this website, (www.website-hit-counters.com) will actually have a site that keeps RUNNING ALL THE TIME... What's the point of having a counter if I can't SEE it??? And, while I adore the argyle on the sides of my blog, I'm not a big fan of the paisley in the background. I wish I knew how to write code. I would just fix all this nonsense myself! *sigh* So anyway. How are you doin?

"The Proposal"

2009-07-08T22:21:00.003-06:00

Madre and I just saw this movie! Ummm... predictable, and could have been funnier, but it had it's cute moments.

But let me just say this: For those of you who take Ambien, it is definately I wise idea to go to sleep before they kick in, and hope it doesn't kick in while you are trying to POST ON YOUR BLOG. Because THAT is the situation I'm in right now. "Why don't you just STOP posting, and go to bed," you ask? "BECAUSE. I've already started and I COULDN'T sleep knowing I had half a blog sitting on my laptop, waiting to be finished!" Then you say, "But, your one line under the picture sums it up. Everything afterward is just blather." and I say, "What THE HECK IS BLATHER?" So you see, or maybe you don't, don't take PRESCRIPTION SLEEPING PILLS, and then BLOG. GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY.

Once Upon A Time...

2009-07-07T16:41:00.003-06:00

There was a young man by the name of Matthew. He would blog every now and then, and often people would comment. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? He could only assume that everyone was having summer fun, and therefore, could not comment on his blog. He couldn't help feeling that he had no life whatsoever, because he would go to class, then come home and blog...

While everyone else was out working on their real tans, Matthew was spending his spare time in a tanning bed. While others were at Lake Powell, Matthew was in the shower. Where other folks were going to Disneyland and Lagoon, little Matthew had to be content wearing skates behind a self-propelled lawn mower.

But Matthew did not despair, for he put a counter upon his blog, and saw that indeed, people were reading it, there just wasn't any subject matter that warranted a comment, apparently. So our young squire decided that all was not lost, he just needed to post something that people would comment about. And so.......

Are These Glasses Too Gay?

2009-07-06T14:57:00.002-06:00

What do u think? I need some feedback here, people.

R-r-r-ruffels have R-r-r-ridges!

2009-07-05T11:30:00.008-06:00

...and W-w-w-wadsworths are W-w-w-wonderful!

Yes. I stutter. And I'm even more popular because I admit it. But anyway. On July 4th, since there was no any other important date on the calendar, a good chunk of relatives from my Faja's side of the family gathered in sunny St. G to celebrate our awsomeness. Yes, it was hot, incredibly hot. There was a nice wind, though, so it helped keep us cool/blow all our crap around. It was so much fun. If you are on the Wadsworth/Jacobson/Horlacher/Anyone else I can't think of's side right now, and you didn't come...then you MISSED OUT, SUCKAZ!

Madre and I brought little rocks and paints so that we could paint little rocks. Genius idea, no? Apparently not, because NOBODY wanted to paint rocks. HOWEVER... a few people did want their faces painted. So, the Master of Paints, aka yours truly, began stamping each person's face with a different symbol. Well, not really, considering most people wanted little American flags... Addi wanted a pink heart to match her pink life. Kinda hard to see in this picture, though.

Madre desired a little daisy with purple petals. I actually did a star on her arm later on, that was so rad, and somehow, I forgot to TAKE A FLiPPiN' picture of it! Grr. I'm about ready to Opus Dei myself. (If you haven't read/seen Divinci Code, you probably won't get that reference...)

Ahhh, sweet Joanne. Sweet, unoriginal Joanne. She saw my mom's flower, and wanted one of her own. She asked for a purple to match her shirt. (I only had one color of shiny purple, but a few bottles of it, so I just pulled out another bottle and told her it was a different color... SHHH.... don't tell anyone!) It still looked cute, though!

Paul got the first American Flag of the day. By the last American Flag I had done, they looked perfect. Paul was a serious champ for allowing me to make a semi-lopsided flag on his cheek. We're all patriots at the Wadsworth family reunion! Or wait... I meant the kuzzin' karnival! ...my bad.

This is Brianna's daughter... (if I remember correctly...) and she got a glittering star on her cheek. So adorable. I was impressed at how the glitter paint seemed to last through everything, even splashing around in the kiddie pool, and sliding down the enormous inflatable water slide that I was TOO FAT TO GO ON! Grrrrrrr.

Rhonda's Ameri-heart was my first masterpiece of the day. I was/am/always will be proud of this little heart. I feel like a true Mormon housewife with her crafter's instinct. Next thing you know, I'll be scrapbooking up a storm! Wait... isn't blogging kind of like scrapbooking??? RELIEF SOCIETY MEMBERS... UNITE!

Payson's is my favorite fo'sho. He wiggled around a lot, so the skull and crossbones isn't quite uniform, but none-the-less, it emits pure radness.

...

After the day's festivities were over, and all the cousins were on their way back home or to their respective hotels/friend's houses, Madre and I went to see the flick "Public Enemies." Brinton was telling me how this was the first movie to be shot completely in digital, absolutely no film, and that parts of it actually had to be grained, because the picture was WAY too sharp. I HAVE TO AGREE! There were parts of the movie that were so sharp it hurt my eyes! What in interestingly new experience. Oh yeah, and the plot and acting was great too... as long as you don't pay attention to Christian Bale. As everyone knows, if I find out an actor or actress is just pure evil in real life, it makes me like him/her less on screen. So besides Christian Bale, other cractors (crappy actors) on my list include Tom Cruise and Russell Crow! Incidentally, my bro-in-law, Matt, loves all three of those guys!

And finally, at the end of the day, there were fireworks. I tried taking a picture of some of them, but my camera is old and testy. It's like that girl/boyfriend that everyone has had/has who gets pissed off over the smallest things. Long story short, I couldn't get a fireworks picture. But I did get a picture of me looking exhausted, laying on the grass with my pillow.

SON OF ROSEMARY.

2009-06-30T22:32:00.002-06:00

Was it worth the read? OH MY GOOD HELL...(pun intended)... right up to the LAST FIVE PAGES I thought it was GRAND!!!

Oh, and by the way... if you ever read the book, don't fret too much about "Roast Mules." (it's an anagram in the book, which is so inconclusive, it's laughable.) IT'S SOMERSAULT. Trust me, it makes about as much sense here as it does in the book. (Which I'm sure to all of you... is no sense at all. My point exactly.)

Anyway. I loved the ending... right until the very end.

Someone, please read it, so I can compare notes!

ALICE in WONDERLAND

2009-06-30T10:57:00.003-06:00

TIM BURTON needs to HURRY UP and FINISH this movie!!!! I could give or take Anne Hatheway... but I'm most looking forward to Helen Bonham Carter as the Red Queen! She's hot & nasty!!! And who doesn't love Johnny Depp? Christopher Lee is also in the film, and I can't wait any longer. I know... 2010. I can't understand why some people don't like Tim Burton's re-inventions of older concepts. I thought "Chocolate Factory" was SO inspired! No, it wasn't true to the book, but I think it was true to Dahl. And if anyone could be true to Lewis Carrol, it's Tim Burton! I think if you go to the theater not expecting the movie to be like the book, you'll find you love the movie better. I seriously almost wet myself every time I see photos of the film-in-progress. Damn... time to change my undies.

The Latest Books!

2009-06-29T20:39:00.005-06:00

I've finished TWO whole books, and a third is almost done! Granted, they are easy reads, but still very interesting! All three are by writer Ira Levin, who also wrote the play "Deathtrap!"

First on the list is "The Stepford Wives." I know! "A novel?" you ask. I said the same thing when my Madre told me she'd ordered the book. What an interesting read, though. The movie that was made in the 70's is almost a carbon copy of the book, whereas the newer film (kinda funny, though full of plot-holes) pretty much has the same character names, and that's it. The few differences are spoilers, so I can't really disclose them here.

My favorite part in "The Stepford Wives" book is when Joanna is playing hostess to a few members of the Men's Association, and she is in the kitchen, when "Diz" ("Mike" in the new movie) comes in and looks at her. She tells him that it's odd that he worked at Disneyland, because he didn't seem like the type of person who liked to make other people happy. To that he replied, "You don't know me very well at all, then."

Secondly, was "Rosemary's Baby." Now, I've seen the movie made in 1969, and again, I was hoping to find there were some things that the book had to offer that the movie didn't. Like the first "Stepford Wives" movie, the "Rosemary's Baby" movie was pretty much everything the book was! Again, there were a couple of things the movie left out, but they were things at the VERY END of the book, so I can't really divulge those plot points. It was an intriguing book, and it helped me realize some things that kind of didn't make sense in the movie. Good book, though! And since it was written in 1967, there are a couple of racial slurs that I don't think would fly by today's standards...

And finally, the book I'm working on right now is "Son of Rosemary." I, like my mother, was surprised to find out there was a sequel to "Rosemary's Baby." This book, however, was written in 1998. It's also a very interesting read, and so far, parts of it make me squirm a little. The story picks up later on in Rosemary's life, when her son is 33 years old. (Do you get the biblical reference? It's the same age Jesus was when he died... and I also realized the similarities in names: Mary and Rosemary.) The book starts off with Rosemary waking up from a 20-something year coma, and she finds her son is this great celebrity, a "great uniter." The whole world loves him. I won't go into any more detail, or I might start to give away the plot. It's not really scary, but it is intriguing!

Poor Chakra Has Died :(

2009-06-27T09:49:00.002-06:00

Ma got home last night, and found little "Shocky" had passed away. I know I always made jokes about how it was "time to put him down," but now that he's gone, I'm kinda sad!

I got him when I was 20 years old, and I think he was about 2 then. I remember that I had to bring him from Salt Lake to St. George on the bus. Only they wouldn't ALLOW him on the bus. So my brother Taylor and I took everything out of my backpack, and Chakra fit RIGHT INSIDE. (I know. Someone call PETA, right?) But he was so quiet, and pretty much slept the whole time. Every time the bus stopped, we'd take Chakra out and he'd run around and play until it was time to hide again.

The guy who sat in the seat on the aisle across from us kept noticing my backpack would move occasionally. Luckily, he didn't alert the bus driver.

When my dad saw Chakra, he told my mom, "There's no way in HELL we're keeping that dog!" Who would have known that not much later, Chakra and Matt Sr. would be inseparable. Everywhere Matt went, Chakra was sure to follow. Whenever Matt kicked back in the recliner to watch some TV, Chakra had to be on his lap. Matt even taught Chakra a cute trick: Dad would yell, "Where's Timmy? Is Timmy in the well?" and Chakra would RUN to show you where Timmy was! (Timmy happened to be where Dad kept the dog treats. Still... it was hilarious.)

Chakra thought sneezing was a trick. He'd sit in front of you and sneeze and sneeze in hopes of receiving a treat. It was funny/cute/annoying. I'll miss that hay-fevered pooch.

Chakra was even in a play with Laura and myself. In "Midsummer Night's Dream" he played Theseus's (my character) lap dog.

He was the best watchdog. Even though he'd be no match for an intruder, he always alerted us to anybody's presence. Chakra was a little punk, it's true, because he only cared about treats. But, he was my little punk, (or rather, my Dad's little punk) and I'll miss him.

My "Bedfull Costume"

2009-06-26T19:39:00.003-06:00

Cute, huh?

Ooops! I FORGOT ONE!!

2009-06-25T12:00:00.004-06:00

I FORGOT TO ADD MY FAVORITE PICTURE TO THE BLOG-POST BELOW!!!

I got dared to jump off the rocks and do a belly-flop. Who could resist a dare? NOT ME! So I did, and yes, it hurt. But it made me all the more MANLY. Please continue on to the previous post, to see all the other pictures from our pool party! *kiss* (By the way... the bellyflop you are seeing here, is actually the second one I did. The first one wasn't quite caught in time by the camera... you may wonder if I'm invincible... I wonder that often myself.)

Thesbians at the Pool

2009-06-24T22:48:00.008-06:00

VIEWER WARNING!!!

THE FOLLOWING POST CONTAINS PHOTOS OF HALF-NAKED ACTORS, AND NOT THE KIND THAT ARE FUN TO LOOK AT. ESPECIALLY YOURS TRULY. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

These pictures are in no particular order. Today, we had a little get together, all the casts of the three shows playing this summer at Dixie State. We gathered at the home of Jessica's in-laws, and ate and swam, and made inappropriate jokes. The slide was truly rad.

Some of the pictures are a little blurry, but this one had to be shown. Bryan's eyes match the pool! And he's so cute, he should play Heidi.

Another wacky blur-tastic picture, this one with sweet Kate. We rode over together in her convertible! I am SO rad. Almost as rad as Katie!

Miss Dani. I don't know what to say about this picture, exactly. She's... wrapped up in some sort of styrofoam tube! That's... super!

Ahhh, miss Katie! Enjoying the spoils of the slide. The slide was a bit painful if you went on your tummy, though.

Josh and the little one, sittin' poolside, takin' it easy, livin' breezy, in that Hawaiian shirt fo'sheezy.

Here's Bryan. If that's not the visual of a girlish scream, I don't know what is.

Ohhhh... the DRAMA of it all!

It's the gang! Splashing and splashing and splashing. Aren't we so friggin' cute?

Bryan havin' a little slippity slide with li'l miss Portia!

Brooke and the baby. Who trusted her to hold that little one?? Someone call Family Life Services!

Yes, that oddly shaped human is ME, going full-speed down the slide, backwards and head-first. Needless to say, the sudden impact of the water on my trousers made me close to sans-pantaloons.

Spotting Crystal on the trampoline. There were back-flips galore! And a little girl pooped on the trampoline. I won't go into details, but we all had a good cringe/laugh about it later!

Waterslide time for me! I wanted to see how bad of a wedgie I could give myself.

The front flip was awesome... the onlooking cheer... awesomer.

....And the Bald begat the Bald.

Jessica trying to have fun with/scare Josh's kids

Yummy! Munch munch. Who's watching your children? Eh... who cares?

I asked Jess to try to be beautiful, if she possibly could. I've never been more proud.

The women are eating, the men are talking about vampires and zombie spears. I'm not sure, so don't ask.

Rehearsal time! No pool party here, but still. So lax!

Four happy players ready to be played.

AND FINALLY... don't miss our show! Fridays through July 17th at 7:30pm. Tickets only 10 bucks, or I can get u a deal! (Maybe...)

Random Pictures From My Phone!

2009-06-19T12:05:00.007-06:00

I have all these pictures that I take with my phone, but nobody really sees them except me... so I thouht I'd share them with the world. Here we see the beautimous sky in southern Utah. This was one of the days where we thought it might rain... but it didn't. The sky was a tease. I wish I could spank the sky. But, alas... I cannot.

This is supah-cute payson. You may ask, "why does he have rubber bands on his wrists?" And to that I answer: "He doesn't. That's just his arm-chub."

And look at those teeth! He's off to build a dam.

Look at me lookin' manly and scruffy! I love that hat. It's a Fidel Castro hat. I feel dictatoresque in it.

-->
Thank heavens for this sign! I almost broke the law!!

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I knew we shouldn't have put vodka in that sippy-cup.

SCOUT! My lovey dovey. She's the bestest damn dog in the whole wide world. LOOK HOW CUTE SHE IS!!! Wook at dat face! She's so pwitty! What a gewd guwl you is! Yes you is! *kissy noises*

I told Payson that the government is spending all of America's money, and that his generation will be stuck with an 11 trillion dollar debt, and he passed out.

That night was so rad. We laughed so hard, and ate sandwiches, and bothered the cookie girl behind the counter. And I like my blond stripe feux-hawk. Laura is wearing my glasses, by the way... that's why she looks like a rockstar.

This super-trendy Thai restaurant was super-yummy. This is Matt and Laura, so happy because the food was so good. Too bad none of us can remember the names of our food.

Taylor knows how to look extra handsome. This is the picture that pops up on my phone when he calls.

Awww! Ma and Sistah. Look how cute they are! As Mom would say, cuter than a weenie-dog's left eyelid!

I love my Rubber Soul shirt. And here, I look sly. "How so," you say? If I told you, I wouldn't be sly. "Make sense," you demand? "No," I reply.

And finally, Mom and Grandpa passed out on chair and couch. So cute!

Here's a little game you can play. Go back and look at the pictures, and then look at the color of the text. See how I found a prominent color from the photo, and used it as the color for the caption? Aren't I clever? Oh... the cleverness of me.

I FINISHED ATLAS SHRUGGED!

2009-06-17T12:12:00.002-06:00

So I actually finished "Atlas Shrugged" a little while ago. What an interesting concept. In an earlier post, I said that I would forever attribute Barack Obama to James Taggart in this book, but I take that back now. The character in the book is a sniveling little weasel who doesn't know what he wants. I don't think that's the case with our president. But that's a whole different topic...

The book was SO long, but well worth the read. Ayn Rand's libertarian manifesto is so intriguing! It captures what the world would be like with unprecedented government rule, and with a world that frowns upon accomplishment, and tyrannically forces society to conform. There are a few problems with the book, though. Ms. Rand is the queen of the 10+ page monologue. The first and second monologues by separate characters were so redundant, that on each monologue following, I just skipped to the end. I found I didn't miss a thing. There were no plot points that I hadn't picked up, because when these characters start talking, their entire speeches are summed up in their first and last paragraphs. Everything in between are just reiterations; making the same point in different ways.

Another reason I had to skip through these pages and pages of monotonous speech, is because they are blatant lectures to the reader. The only problem is, the type of person who is actually reading her book, is not the type of person who needs to hear those lectures.

The other night, my Ma and I watched "The Fountainhead," the movie based on her first novel. Incidentally, the screenplay for that movie was also written by Ayn Rand. It was funny to watch, because the character composition is almost parallel to the characters in "Atlas Shrugged." EXTREME characters, on the far left or right of the norm. Each has a political view, and a deep-rooted psychological issue of some sort. They all seem to be mad ALL of the time, and participate in, how shall I put it... angry love?

I think Ms. Rand had some serious inner-turmoil. Both stories have very VIOLENT parts, (although the violence in Atlas Shrugged is far greater.) I only found one other thing about her stories that I didn't like, and that is that there were no characters that could be swayed. There was nobody who could listen to reason and change his or her point of view. There were those who had the point of view the reader should hold, but didn't identify it as such, until later. But there were no "bad guys" who would change their minds about any subject whatsoever. I thought it would be interesting if Ayn would write someone who was capable of change for the better.

LONG POST, I KNOW! The book is great. If you have like, 3 months to spare, I highly suggest you read it... not for the political or philosophical views, but for the amazing story, and what would happen to the world if the great thinkers went on strike. (By the way, "The Strike" was Ayn Rand's first choice for the title of the book.)

Time for a NEW COAT...

2009-06-15T18:09:00.003-06:00

PAINTING GRANDPA'S HOUSE!!

Here's Grandpa's super wood panelled wall. I was putting primer on it, and decided to put up one of Matt Sr.'s favorite "driver's license number," (which he always wrote on his checks) in primer on the super groovy wood paneling. Here, we also see Madre in her super-painting frock, and Payson, playing near the open paint on the hearth! The fumes were AMAZING.

Ahh, the wood-paneled wall looks a little better, now. This color really opened the room up. It's a shade darker than the paint on the rest of the walls, because I decided it would make a good accent wall. I'm very pleased with how it turned out.

And I'm almost done painting his hallway a very bright white. At the end of the hall is a painting I did when I was 19. (So about 9 years ago.) Should I paint over it? It would brighten up the hallway A LOT if I did.......................

FEET

2009-06-11T12:26:00.004-06:00

First of all, here's the giant banner that's hanging in the Foyer of the Eccles Theatre. Yes, that's my show, if you've forgotten. And now... onto the feet.

The foot. We all have them .(hopefully... if not... my deepest sympathies to you) Why am I taking pictures of feet? Well, it started out as some stupid artistic project I was working on, until I realized that my camera sucks. Well, I realized that a long time ago, but I was reminded of it now.

You may ask, "Does he have too much time on his hands?" The answer is, "No." I'm currently engulfed in a very compact Humanities class, and rehearsal for "Bedfull of Foreigners," but I couldn't handle that my blog hasn't been updated.

I think when I get a better camera, I'm going to revisit this project, and maybe do them in black and white. I was thinking about maybe also doing the same idea with hands and mouths, too.

Like, wouldn't it be cool to have a little book, all of black and white pictures of different mouths? Some smiling, some frowning, some chewing, some with tongues sticking out, maybe one with a fat lip... one laughing, one kissing... and maybe a poem every 3rd or 4th page?

These are my feet, which are the only male set here, (although some would dispute that) Now you are asking, "Is he some kind of artistic genius?" The answer is, "Yes." The pictures may not be great (because of the camera) but the idea is solid. Oh, by the way, this is copyrighted. See?

SO DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT STEALING MY IDEA!!!

seea :)

I CAN'T... (I have rehearsal!)

2009-06-08T07:44:00.005-06:00

DRAMA GEEKS think they are SO rad.

Hammer time! I play "Claude" the adulterous, lying Englishman who accidentally runs into his wife while taking a vacation in France with his mistress, Simone.

Here is Brian. Or is it spelled Bryan? Eh, who cares. He and I go way back... to the days of "Secret Garden." We're united again in the comedy "Bedfull of Foreigners." Bri/yan plays "Stanley," a sexually repressed fellow on vacation. Those two midgets you see here are his two kids, Roman and Portia. They come to most of the rehearsals. Drama Geek number 1, and his two Drama Geeklettes. Rehearsal is fun/stressful!

And here we see the lighting grid of the claustrophobia inducing black box theatre. As of now, it looks barren and dull. But come showtime, it will be adorned like some psychotic Christmas tree with multicolored lights pointing in every direction. The best part about the "grid" are the two access platforms. You get on it, and then pull yourself, and the platform, across the ceiling. When I was in "Heubner," we often had platform races.

Hanna (in the blue) and Josh (guy without hair) are so involved! Talk about dedication! While they were busy studying their scripts with intensity, I was busy taking pictures of stuff. Hanna plays "Simone," the French cabaret dancer/slut, and Josh plays the Slovak bellman, "Karak," of the rundown hotel that all the foreigners are staying at. Drama Geeks # 2 and 3!

Ah, the birth of a new set is always exhilarating! As of now, it may seem gloomy, drab, and lifeless, but as soon as it's completely finished, it will be a glorious facade of a gloomy, drab, and lifeless hotel. Josh does pretty much all the building and painting. He's such a multi-tasker. Not only is he in "Bedfull of Foreigners" with us, as well as building the set, he's also in "Black Comedy," and building that set too! "Black Comedy" is part of the revolving show schedule this summer.

Here we have Drama Geek # 4. Dani Barlow Dyal. (Bri/yan's wife.) She plays "Helga," my "clean" and "cold" wife. It's quite unfortunate that although she plays my spouse in the show, I don't get to make out with her even once. I get to make out with Hanna a lot, though. But I really wanna make out with Dani while Brian watches. Does that make me sick? Wait, what am I asking you for? I already know I'm sick. If I wasn't I wouldn't be participating in the Theatre.

The set is coming together. The doorknob was a little dirty, so Hannah decided to clean it up. That dirty door handle was a problem, but in the end, we got it licked! GET IT? GET IT??

Ahh, the famed rehearsal room. Classroom number 156 in the Eccles Fine Arts Center. Here's the view of the mirrored wall. That dapper fellow who isn't really involved with the rest of the group, sitting on those cubes, happens to be myself, holding up the camera, making sure this image is forever preserved in blogdom.

Here's a little blast from the past! This is the Nazi Eagle that hung over the tribunal in the final scene of "Heubner." That show was a little heavy, but it was a great experience! My dad, my sister Laura, and myself were ALL cast members in that show! I played "Karl-Heinz Shnibbe," Laura played Heubner's Madre, and Faja played Heubner and Karl Heinz's public defender.

And of course, Drama Geek number 5 is me. I don't really have many pictures of myself from the show because I was too busy snapping all the photos. So I decided to include this painting. My buddy Russ just moved to a new house, and he's decorating with a modern Egyptian theme in his front room. He asked me to do a painting, and this is what I did! He's getting it framed, and it's hanging on one of the walls in his front room. This has nothing to do with "Bedfull of Foreigners," but I'm proud of this particular painting, so I had to include it.

We have like, one more week of rehearsal left. We were supposed to be memorized not last Friday, but the Friday before that. WHAT A JOKE! I think only one of the cast members is completely memorized.

What an UGLY dog!

2009-06-04T08:00:00.003-06:00

THIS IS VATO!

I was bored the other day, and decided to have a little photo session with Russ's dog, Vato. He is the ugliest little puppy in the world. His face is smashed, and his eyes are at 10 and 2.

This is Vato's favorite toy: the vicious blue hippo. He kills this little hippo several times a day.

Here is his royal highness in his plush furry throne. I wish I had something this soft so sleep on!

Seriously, is he looking in two directions at once??? He is SO wall-eyed! I don't understand how he can even see where he's going.

Tales from the Tanning Salon

2009-06-01T08:24:00.003-06:00

Tanning is EASIER than losing weight!

Going tanning always makes me feel better. I love emerging from the bed feeling crispy! It's nice to relax in the bright heat of the artificial sunlight. I'm often lulled to sleep by the harmonious humming of the high-watt bulbs. While I'm constantly trying to drop that extra ten pounds, I find that I'm a little more secure about myself when I'm tan. Because, as we all know, tanned fat looks better than white fat!

In the photo above, I was trying to capture my beautiful white teeth in the reflection of the mirror behind the lamps. Instead, all I got was the image of my camera. I would have tried again, but I didn't want to get any camera-tan lines. Yes, the tanning bed is better than Proactiv for the face, and makes my butt look cute! (Too bad nobody sees my butt except me... but still) I love to use an accelerator with a bronze and a tingle. If you've never been tanning, you probably don't know what I'm talking about. So... Google it, I guess. ANYWAY, the tingle makes my skin feel itchy, which is kind of fun, and I always come out smelling like freshly baked cookies! I may smell like the Pillsbury dough-boy, but I'm about 16 or 17 shades darker!

There's Nothing To Blog About.

2009-05-28T09:27:00.003-06:00

Much A'blog About Nothing!

Have you ever had one of those truly un-blogworthy days? The kind of day where you WANT to update your life, but there's nothing really interesting enough that's worth telling? Today is one of those days. So even though the following things may be interesting and entertaining to only myself...I found the need to share them with everyone.

This is my best friend's new pug puppy. His name was Vato, then Russ changed it to Pugly, then back to Vato. This is one ugly and confused dog.
This is my shoe. I'm not a punk, but I decided my shoe had to have a skull on it. Because deep down, I want to be a pirate.

This is my watch. See how well it matches my shoes? I'm like... a Tim Burton offspring or something.

If you ever wondered what it looks like up my nostrils...now you know. By the way, in the left nostril, that's not a booger. It's my bumpy septum. I wouldn't post a picture of my nose full of boogers. I'm a little more self-aware than that.

Here I am laughing at you for taking the time to read this particular post of absolutely zero substance! Aren't I rad? Oh, and by the way, happy birthday to my cuz' Nicole.

The Memorial Day Weekend!

2009-05-26T09:13:00.011-06:00

Here's The Whole Friggin' Clan!I love family pictures like this. They're so much more fun than those stupid boring posed pictures. BLAH. I think in the pictures where everyone is just smiling and holding perfectly still, it looks like everybody is just grinning angrily and squeezing their butt cheeks together.

Sweet little Addi and Payson! These kids are so flippin' funny. Of course, Addi had to be bribed to actually smile in the pictures, and Payson had to be injected with drugs. Other than that... perfect little kids. (Just kidding about the drug injections... not the bribery.)

Here's the lovely Ladies of the Jacobson-Edwards club. Kelli, Addi, and Laura. They are my sistah, sistah-in-law, and first niece. The reason I like this picture so much, is because it looks like Laura is holding her pee in. Love it.

And the men of the family. Matt, Myself (the manliest of the men), Taylor, and little Payson. I am in the perfect position in this photo, because Matt and Taylor are covering up my lovely handles and my man-boobs.

If I were truly a sick person, this would be my wedding announcement photo. "Mr. Trooper and Mrs. Cola would like to announce the wedding of their daughter, Scout, to Matthew Jacobson."

Thanks for getting that peanut butter off my ear, scout. I knew I shouldn't have taken a nap on the sandwich. My dog is always lookin' out for me!

I'm super studly as I dig the weed roots out from uncle Hugh's headstone. We spiffed up that whole Jacobson area in under an hour! Super Cemetery Spiffing Powers - UNITE!

Taylor, Lindsay, some handsome devil, Krista, Matt, Laura, Brenda, Kirk, and Kristine. We toiled in the cool mountain air, and then went back to the house and gained weight by stuffing ourselves full of bratwurst. It was a good day.

And finally... under the eave of our porch, this robin built a shaggy looking nest, and has, I assume, laid some eggs and is now awaiting the hatch. I can't wait to feed those baby birds to the hawk I see around the valley!! Someone call PETA please.

DID'JA MISS ME??

2009-05-20T09:52:00.007-06:00

I'm BACK! I don't get internet service in my home town of Pine Valley... and since I've been trapped there for the past two weeks... alas. No bloggenshtein.

But, while I was helping my Madre recover from surgery, I took some pretty spring pictures that I thought I'd share with the world. Kisses!

Above you can see a branch with some leaves. That's how bored I was. I was taking pictures of sticks.

So THAT'S where my wagon went!

The camo-fairy. She's ready to go hunting.

Shamrocks... and a regular rock. I wonder if you got an absorbant stone that wouldn't drip and holds ten times it's weight in liquid... would you call it a SHAMrock? (instead of SHAMWOW... get it? GET IT?)

Little baby purple pinecones. They look like little strawberries! I found out the hard way, that they don't taste like little strawberries, though.

This beautiful lilac blossom was the only one on it's part of the bush. So... would you call that... A FRAGRANT VAGRANT? GET IT???????

Cluster-cones.

HOLY CRAP... that grass is GREEN! I'm such a good gardner! (thanks to photoshop.)

You can't see it, but there's beez in them treez. They make the HUNNY, we make the MUNNY! *sigh* Too much Bee Movie.

I like the way this picture turned out... cuz it's dramatic and such... but to line up the sun exactly how I wanted it, I had to look directly at it. K, IT HURT, especially since I had to take like 4 shots to get it right. I still see the negative of this image when I close my eyes.

The sun was draining the flowers of their pretty color, so I had to pump up the purple on my computer. I like it, cuz they look like they're glowing. Far out. Oh my gosh... PSYCHEDELIC... FLOWER POWER!

SCOUTY!!!
She's such a cute girl! I WUB HER SOOO MUCH! (Last sentence to be read as if you are talking to a puppy.)

Here's another one of those "looking at the sun" pictures. I think this one is my favorite. It's like heaven is opening up and peeing sunlight all over the back of this tree's head.

This is the FIRST TIME I've ever looked at this ivy up close.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? THIS IS IVY.

Well, thanks for stopping by. My next blog will be much sooner, I think. Toodles, my lovelies!

I Need A New Camera!!

2009-04-29T09:25:00.005-06:00

Everyone look at my new Creation blog. It's super special - JUST LIKE ME!
http://proofofcreation.blogspot.com

This is a formal call to anyone who got a new camera recently! GIVE ME YOUR OLD ONE! Look at what I have to work with right now!!! It's about as thick as a cell phone from the 80's, and the back screen doesn't work when you're taking a picture.

Now I know you're asking yourself, "How is he taking a picture of the camera... if he's holding the camera in his hand...?" Blows your mind, doesn't it?? DOESN'T IT???

Okay, I took the picture with my cell phone.

Yeah, so if anyone has a camera that they just replaced.... please, help ME to replace my camera from 2000! Kisses! *muah*

The Rocks that Rock

2009-04-24T08:31:00.008-06:00

This is a somewhat older topic that I forgot to post around Easter.

Taylor, Kelli, Addi and Payson came up to Pine Valley for the weekend before Easter. My mammy got a super cool book from the Coops on how to paint rocks. Weird? Yes. Waste of time? Maybe. Interesting? Definitely. We figured, why paint eggs that won't last long, when you can paint rocks, that will last a lifetime!!

First we have the wonderful creations of Kelli. She's so modest. She said that she hated all the rocks she painted, but I think they turned out uber-rad. The watermelon makes me salivate. The "love" rock has about a pound of pink glitter paint on it, and took almost 2 days to dry. The mouse we keep by the kitchen door... cuz it's so damn cute!

Next, we have the painted rocks from the imagination of Taylor. On the right, we have a snow topped mountain, and a candy corn with a bite out of the top in the center, and my favorite, the turtle shell on the left. It brings back serious memories of Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, and Raphael! Heroes in a half-shell!

Addie's rocks are just amazing. She's used to painting with watercolors, so she was constantly dipping the brush in the water and then applying watery-acrylic paint to the rocks. She got a little help with the butterfly from Kelli, and the red rock on the right was Addi's all by her lonesome. I think she wanted it to be a watermelon... but it looks like a jeweled potato to me.

Mom devoted the entire rock painting session to one creation: the fried egg. She saw this design in the rock painting book, and fell in love with it. We now use this rock as a spoon rest in the kitchen up here in Pine Valley. And yes, that is real pepper under the varnish on that egg-rock!

And my two rocks are so different, they're like day and night. (Haaahahahahahhahaaaahahahahahahha hahahaahahahhahaha hahaaahahahahah......... *breath*.... AAAAAAhhahahahahahahha!!!) The glitter paint on the sun, clouds, moon and stars looks REALLY cool, but the camera doesn't pick up the sparkles. It just makes them look dirty! But take my word for it; the glitter is rad.

Taylor had the idea to get a bucket, and fill it full of painted rocks. Then, when people come to visit, they can look through it and see all the creations.

However, I think that they should be thrown through car windshields or people's house windows. That way, you're giving people a piece of art that they will remember forever. (i.e., "remember that rock painted like a candy-corn that someone chucked through our front room window? That was really awesome.")

Today I Went Tanning...

2009-04-22T18:14:00.008-06:00

I was truly disappointed after I went tanning, because I wanted just the slightest sunburn. I just needed to wait a couple hours, I guess.

I think out of all my nephews, Payson has got to be my favorite. Could there be a cuter kid? I think he's sick of me, since he just spent the entirety of the weekend at my house, and now he's stuck with me until his ma gets off work.

Here's the chubby little beaver-toothed toddler reaching for something sharp. Isn't uncle MJ the BEST BABYSITTER EVER??

And don't tell the rest of my nieces, but Addi is my favorite. Look how innocent she appears to be.

I am making sure she gets plenty of candy and cookies before dinner, thus ensuring optimum nutrition and most likely a good night's sleep. Sugar makes me happy, so it must work on little kids, too.

And that lovely smell of roasting meat you smell... is that dinner? No. It's uncle MJ.

Broadcasting from the pad of Great G-Pa, peace out m'peeps!

Happy B-Day Faja!

2009-04-20T08:58:00.011-06:00

An Ode To Faja

By his first son, Matthew James Jacobson

The memories of growing up with such a fabulous dad

* * *

Are simply the best a snot-nosed kid could have had.

* * *

The father-son bond couldn't have been tighter.

* * *

"LOOK OUT MJ, HERE COMES THE CHIPPER-BITER!"

* * *

(To avoid inside jokes would be my personal preference,

* * *

but only my family will get that inside reference.)

Pops taught me assertiveness and how to be a man.

* * *

Told me to make eye contact, and firmly shake a hand.

* * *

He always supported me, whenever I made a choice.

* * *

I only wish he'd taught me how to lower my loud voice.

He made me piss when I was three, by donning a mask that was REALLY SCARY!

* * *

When he'd introduce me he'd say, "This is what happens when actors marry."

* * *

We went deer hunting when I was younger, and when I was cold he made fun of me.

* * *

He mocked me saying, "You're tears are gonna freeze, and so will your PEE!"

He always taught us that Mom was his best friend.

* * *

A bond that is sealed for eternity, a love that has no end.

* * *

Once I disrespected my mom, (I admit, it was SUCH a discrace!)

* * *

My dad told me never to do it again, and promptly slapped my face.

* * *

(At the time I was offended and it stung me to the core,

* * *

but I DESERVED IT! And I probably should have been slapped a LOT more!)

So on Dad's birthday, in rememberance I mourn.

* * *

(It was also the day that Hitler was born!)

* * *

We miss you dad; the world's not the same place...

* * *

Without your smiling, shining, animated face!

2009-04-15T11:42:00.001-06:00

My super Cooper cousin Alexis made all my dreams come true by giving me a bloody death on the Angel's Landing rock!

99 Truths

2009-04-15T10:35:00.004-06:00

I stole this questionnaire from my cousin Ali off her Facebook page. I decided the world needed to know my 99 truths. Reader warning: this post is long. I understand if you don't want to read all of it. I barely made it through, myself.

1.ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?

Do emotional scars count? And why is this the first question? Is it the most important thing on anyone's list of things you'd want to know about someone?

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?

Absolutely nothing.

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?

I don't know. I don't usually watch or listen to myself while I sleep.

4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?

I can't handle Mexican polka music, or country... or rap. Other than that, I'm golden.

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?

Nope. I bet my mom does though.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?

A unicorn.

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?

My baby teeth.

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)

1) My family 2) The realization that your most prized possession can't be taken with you when you die. 3) My sense of irony

9. HOW TALL ARE YOU?

6'2 physically, 18 feet mentally.

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?

Only when I'm in tight spaces.

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?

Yes, if there happens to be impending doom. That would count in the light, too.

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?

Barack Obama.

13. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?

Barack Obama

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOUR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?

Black hair on girls is HOT! I don't care what color your eyes are. I'm not superficial. Just as long as you're not fat or ugly.

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING/BEING PROPOSED TO?Probably at the end of a shotgun.

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?

Have you ever tried those coffee energy drinks they have now??? SO RAD.

17. FAVOURITE PIZZA TOPPING?

Another pizza. Doesn't that just blow your mind?

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

My words.

19. FAVOURITE COLOR OF ALL TIME?

red and yellow and green and brown And scarlet and black and ochre and peach And ruby and olive and violet and fawn And lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve And cream and crimson and silver and rose And azure and lemon and russet and grey And purple and white and pink and orange And red and yellow and green and brown and blue (only a few folks will get that.)

20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?

Of course. Who hasn't?

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED?I'd have to say... the gift of life.

22. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?

No. But undoubtedly there are several crushes on me.

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?

Only when I roll two doobies.

24. FAVOURITE CLOTHING BRAND?

All my favorites are the ones I can't afford, therefore I don't wear them, so how can I even know that they are my favorites? It's a paradox. HEY! Jeans - a PAIR o' DOCKS! (Really though, I don't like dockers.)

26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?

Ummm... kinda.

27. WHAT KIND IS IT?

Black Lab named Scout. She's TECHNICALLY my mom's dog...but she's my favoritest dog in the whole world.

28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?

Depends on where they're going and if going with them is an option. France? Yes. Fillmore? No.

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED.

K, I said a number! Did you hear it??? Of course you didn't. I guess it should have read, "TYPE a number from one to a hundred." Sorry!!

31. BLONDS OR BRUNETTES?

Boys or girls? That's the question. Boys - blonds. Girls - blonds. Wait, I guess gender wasn't really an issue.

32. FAVOURITE QUOTE?

"What in the HELL do you think you are doing here?" - line from Blazing Saddles

33. FAVOURITE PLACE?

My laughing place. Everybody has one.

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE US?

I don't think I'm legally allowed to... no further comment.

35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?

My heal.

36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS?

So many. I guess the most notable was Anna Nicole Smith. I met her when she was still fat.

37. FIRST JOB?

An Italian one.

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?

Well, I've MADE some prank calls, I don't know how to DO a prank call.

39. DO YOU THINK EVERYONE OUT THERE HAS A SOUL MATE?

Soul mates are like shoe soles. They all have a mate, but sometimes you just can't find the one that goes with the other one. Sometimes one is in the garbage, and if you happen to only have one leg, then you don't even need the other one. I hope that cleared things up.

40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT?

Obviously noting important enough to warrant me not spending half an hour to fill this out.

41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?

I've had a bone marrow biopsy. That may not count, but it sure did suck. I've performed surgery. But that's a different story.

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?My nose, and rightly so. It cost me 3500 bucks.

43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?

You'd think so, looking at my perfect teeth! But no.

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?

Four years taken away from my age.

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT AND THEIR NAMES?

I want 2 boys named Krylon and Rustoleum.

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

My super dad.

47. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST TURN OFF OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?

Talking. At all.

48. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU LIKE ABOUT SCHOOL?

The learning, I suppose.

49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?

What kind of a questionnaire is this??

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?

Only when I'm sober.

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAT?

Roast Beef

52. ANY BAD HABITS?

Yes.

53. ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON?

Always.

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

Hell no! Too intimidating!

55. DO YOU AGREE WITH FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?

Like, fiscal benefits? Sure.

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?

Not to blind people.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?

I kill.

58. WHO IS YOUR 'GO TO' PERSON IF THINGS DON'T GO WELL?

My mommy.

59. WHAT'S YOUR MAIN GOAL IN LIFE?

To become a journalist, and sway public opinion with my writing.

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVOURITE TOY AS A CHILD?

Anything sharp with lead paint.

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR PHONE?

Let's see... there's a keypad with 1-9 and a 0, so i guess ten.

62. WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A LITTLE KID?

Barney Frank? No.

63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?

I would just assume that's obvious.

64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE?

Both mixed together.

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?

Eh... whatever. My tastes vary.

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?

Cutie Pie and Killer

67. FAVOURITE SUPER POWER?

BUDGET BALANCING POWERS ACTIVATE!!

68. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE TV SHOW?

CHUCK!!!!

69. WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH YOUR ENEMIES?

Make it look like an accident.

70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?

Butter Pecan and guilt.

71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES?

Sometimes.

72. DO YOU HAVE A COMPUTER IN YOUR ROOM?

My laptop travels the world, so sometimes it's in my room.

73. PLANS FOR TONIGHT?

Going to a concert at Tuacahn, if it doesn't get rained out of course. And after that... sacrifice a goat to my dark lord.

74. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE WHEN YOU ARE OLDER?

Salt Lake when I'm older, and Pine Valley when I'm old.

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?

If they want to.

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?

The voices.

77. LAST THING YOU DRANK?

Political kool-aid

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?

Russ

79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?

If they have a shrill voice... I'd probably notice that first.

80. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?

Incriminating things.

81. FAVOURITE THING TO HATE?

Oxymorons. I love to hate them.

82. FAVOURITE SEASON OF THE YEAR?

Fall cuzza Halloween and such. Summer too I guess. Spring is nice, though, and Winter has snow. So those are my favorite seasons.

83. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE TYPE OF CHOCOLATE?

The kind you eat.

84. HAVE YOU EVER REALLY AND TRULY HAD A BEST FRIEND?

Yup. Christine. If you are out there, please find me!

85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOUR?

Varies.

86. EYE COLOUR?

Varies. Wait, no, they're gold-ish

87. SHOE SIZE?

10 1/2. Jealous?

88. FAVOURITE FAST FOOD PLACE?

Blah.

89. FAVOURITE RESTAURANT?

Anasazi, Samurai 21, and I guess any place I can't afford.

90. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?

Of course. How can you not like sushi?

91. WATCH TV TODAY?

I plan to.

92. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE YEAR? (doesn't have to be holiday)

Halloween first, Christmas second, my birthday third, June 18, October 3, and August 22. Those last three are not holidays. No need to look them up.

93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENT?

Yes. Play them well? No.

95. KISSES OR HUGS?

How about a high five instead? Or better yet, just acknowledge me with a nod.

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR SHORT DATING?

I couldn't really say. I don't date.

97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?

A doughnut.

98. WOULD YOU EVER BE A HOUSEWIFE?

That might be awkward. I guess I could do it though.

99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?

1) Atlas Shrugged 2) Bob's Recipes: How To Build A Bomb

The Valley Of Fire!

2009-04-07T14:59:00.013-06:00

The Valley Of Fire!!

I am SAM.

(Super Awesome Matt)

Over my birthday weekend, Russ and I went to the Valley of Fire in Nevada. As you can see in the image above, it doesn't matter where I am, I have the tendency to be super. SUPER RAD, that is. We had lots of fun.

When we got there, it was pouring rain. We had already paid to stay in the park, though, so we decided we'd rough it out. This is Russ trying to find a signal on his phone. (Because we were roughing it...)

My tent had a queen-size Aero Bed inside. It took up the entire space, and made it so I couldn't shut the door all the way. It sure was comfortable, though! MUCH MUCH better than sleeping on the cold hard rocky ground!

We breathed a sigh of relief as soon as the blue sky began showing through the rain. I had to snap this picture while the sky was still murky, because I've always thought there were few things more breathtaking than a storm in the desert. This picture doesn't do the actual scene justice.

Finally the sun began to shine through, and brought a beautiful rainbow! And at the end of the rainbow... a real treasure: the park outhouse!

The next day, we climbed the surrounding cliffs. I love the color of the sky here, in contrast with the red rock. I wore black on this hike. I was SO hot! Well, I'm always hot, but I was heated up besides. Oy. The price I pay to look beautiful.

Aren't these flowers beautiful and inviting? Up close, these cacti look like they don't have needles! GUESS WHAT??? DON'T PICK THE CACTUS FLOWERS BECAUSE YOU THINK THEY DON'T HAVE NEEDLES! I made this mistake. The little needles are small and almost impossible to remove. I found this out the hard way.

So the camping trip was a success, although I think I have an infection from a cactus needle that went under my skin. Other than that... who knows where Russ's and my next adventure will take us. (Actually, I'm pretty sure our next adventure will be to Mt. Charleston. So... I guess I do know where it will take us.)

LOOK HOW CUTE!

2009-04-01T16:51:00.003-06:00

My BFF, Russ, Got me this cute little mini-cake for my B-Day! *wipes away tear* How fantastic.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

2009-04-01T08:35:00.009-06:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MATTY!

It was a lovely spring morning on April 1st in 1981. Iran had just released the 52 hostages that were being held captive since 1979, Ronald Reagan was sworn in as America's 40th President, The Raiders won the Superbowl, "Urban Cowboy" starring the uber-rad John Travolta was released, and most importantly, Matthew James Jacobson was born.

I was feeling a little depressed since I'm inching closer to the big "3-0," so I took a second to set my senses aflame with the pleasant fumes of the Sharpie Magnum. Remember: Only losers huff markers to get high! Be a winner and only sniff markers sporadically.

Here's an update on the book I'm reading. I'm not that far into Atlas Shrugged, but seriously, it could have been written YESTERDAY! The plot of this book is SO relevant to everything going on in the world today! It's amazing that this was first published in 1957. I say READ THIS BOOK! I think I'll forever compare Barack Obama to James Taggart.

Angel's Landing

2009-03-30T08:27:00.015-06:00

I'm such an OUTDOORSMAN!

On Saturday, my BFF Russ and I (as seen in the photo to the left) drove up to Zion for a scenic drive. When we arrived, we decided a drive wasn't going to satisfy our lust for the outdoors. So we decided to conquer Angel's Landing.

The beginning of the trail was fine. We were chatting along the way, having a merry old time, and then suddenly, out of nowhere, it got STEEP! It was all paved though... for wheelchair access, perhaps? It got me thinking... what would happen if you drove your RASCAL up there, and ran out of battery? That would suck.

Here's Russ demonstrating our elevation. There were lots of pictures of me standing right on the cliffs, (and one of me dangling my feet off the edge) but you can't see the backgrounds very good, so you can't see how high up I am.

This picture was taken at the last safe place there was to stand. We're looking up the back up Angel's Landing here, and looking at this picture, it's almost unbelievable that I actually scaled that treacherous terrain. I'm so butch!

There was this really gutsy bird that we saw... it was totally flying around up here. I decided I would try to be a gutsy bird too... I had second thoughts though. That's why I'm alive right now to create this post.

It's so amazing that out of the rocks grew these random trees. I thought this tree was so rad, that it deserved to have it's picture taken with me. The tree that I'm sitting in shown at the top of this post was a tree growing out of the sandstone at the very peak of Angel's Landing, right on the cliffside!

Here we are perched atop Angel's Landing. The guy that took this picture literally almost fell off the edge trying to capture the moment. Talk about dedication! The picture would have been awesome if that dumb chick wouldn't have started growing out of Russ's head.

This bird-poo covered rock was the very tip top of Angel's Landing. I was thinking of photo shopping that bird crap to look like blood...

Here's the lovely view from the top! I showed this picture to my mom, and she said, "Wow! That road looks like a river!" (Note: that is not a road... it's a river. The road is that red line to the left of that river.)

On the way back down I decided I wanted to hang off the cliff by this tree. When my mom saw this picture, she got very very very angry with me.

I don't know why I liked the look of the trail on the way down so much. At the bottom of this trail there was a sign that said "This is not a trail!" I can only assume someone moved that sign from somewhere else...

Here's the Virgin River bend... I think.

I think Russ kept getting annoyed because I continued stopping to take pictures of the trail on the way down. I couldn't help it! I just loved how the setting sun brightened up the background, while the trail and the trees seemed mysterious in the shadow of the mountains. How iconic! I should be a writer or something.

Again, the sun was blasting the side of that cliff as it was setting, and the contrast here was just too much for me to handle. Had I been alone, I might have cried like a little schoolgirl. Since I was with Russ, though, I just cried like a college girl.

AND FINALLY.... I had so much fun and got so worn out, that I didn't take a shower that night. When I woke up the next day - I had this beautiful zit to remind me that it doesn't matter that I'm almost 28 years old... I need to WASH MY FRIGGIN' FACE!

2009-03-27T11:51:00.005-06:00

http://www.912project.com/

I feel SO frustrated with the current administration right now! I voted for Barack Obama, and I'm seriously regretting it. I mainly put this link up because I liked the concept of "9-12." You'll see what that is when you visit the sight. This website was created by Glenn Beck and is committed to the people outside of Washington who are just fed up with the way things are going. Check it out and see what you think.

(Note to Barack: You failed me, man. You failed me.)

2009-03-27T08:58:00.001-06:00

HERE WE ARE! THE WHOLE PRATT CLAN!

I can't believe it took 5 months to get these pictures back.

A Slobbering Love Affair

2009-03-27T08:25:00.002-06:00

For anyone who doubted I could read a book I'd like... here you go... I give to you "A Slobbering Love Affair; The True (and Pathetic) Story of the Torrid Romance Between Barack Obama and the Mainstream Media."

The thing I love about Bernie Goldberg is that he's very funny, and uses plenty of easy words. (It must be why I enjoyed the read so much!)

I had read Ann Coulter's book, "Guilty" just before starting this book, and she was very entertaining, and funny, but I'm sure her book would have been much more entertaining and funny had I been smarter. She uses a lot of big words that I didn't really understand! I started to look up the words as I came upon them, but found I couldn't keep stopping every few paragraphs to look up the definition of some word.

So I guess that's why I enjoyed "Slobbering Love Affair" so much. It was an easy read, and very very funny. Mr. Goldberg points out all the hypocrisy of the media, and just makes them look like idiots. It's amazing the truths he points out. I'm not a Republican (nor am I a Democrat) but I really find the stuff that these conservative powerhouses write to be really fascinating. This book goes on my list of MUST READS!

OKAY, WATCHMEN. I went to see this movie on the day it was released. It was based on the Comic Book written by Alan Moore, who incidentally, refused all the royalties from the movie. But Mr. Moore should be proud, because his comics also transfer over beautifully to the big screen! (Remember "V for Vendetta?") This movie was AWESOME! I wish I had my blog set up on the day the movie came out, because I would have been raving about this film from the moment I left the theater. It was visually stunning, and had a great plot. It is, however, a hard R. The movie was directed by Zack Snyder, who also directed "300." It's definitely a big screen movie!

And finally, I saw "Knowing" on it's opening night, and I found it quite entertaining. I don't want to spoil anything about the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. It has some pretty good special effects, and you'll lose a lot of the power of the movie if you don't see it on the big screen. I would say go see it in the theater!! I'm going again tonight with my Mom!!

The "Wicked" Trilogy

2009-03-25T14:21:00.003-06:00

For those of you who are familiar with the musical, "Wicked," you may be aware that it is based (loosely) on a book by Gregory Maguire, which was first published about 13 years ago.

When the first book "Wicked" came out in paperback in 2000, I picked up a copy, read it, and deemed it my most favoritest book in the entire universe.

So a few months ago, I picked up a copy and re-read it. What can I say but, WHAT was I thinking? I had forgotten that Mr. Maguire wrote a story spread so thin that the reader doesn't have the time to connect with the main character. Every event in Elphaba's life (in the book) is so frivolous and seems to offer no real recourse that the reader is trained not to care about any situation she finds herself in. I haven't seen the musical yet, but I am familiar with the plot. Had Mr. Maguire written his book in the same manner that the musical is produced, it might have been more engaging. I found that not only did I not care about the majority of the characters, but I was almost wishing that they would all just die so that the story could concentrate on just a few characters, instead of like... 60.

I think the biggest annoyance of all regarding "Wicked" is that Gregory Maguire wrote a book with too many plots. There's about 10 different story lines tied into the Elphaba character, and none of them are resolved in the end. When Elphaba dies, all the unanswered questions die with her. Again, the author has trained the reader not to care about the things that he writes about, because the reader eventually (not soon enough for me, unfortunately) figures out that everything that happens doesn't matter at all.

I was so disappointed when I re-read the book. When I found out he had written a sequel, I reluctantly decided to read it, in hopes that he would continue with the story that he so abruptly dropped in the first book. You'd think I would learn. The second book, "Son Of A Witch," follows the story of Liir, who may or may not be the son of Elphaba and Fyero. In the spirit of the first novel, the second is crammed so full of mundane scenes that have nothing to do with anything, really, that I found myself not caring about anything that happened to this kid.

I was also hoping to read more about the characters introduced in the first book, but there were almost none to be found. I found myself wanting the main character to have some involvement with familiar names, but instead, the reader has to meet dozens of new characters, and try to learn to like them instead. The only real re-occurring character is a woman by the name of Yackle, who just happens to be around during so called "important" events in both Elphaba's and Liir's lives. I kept hoping that there would come a point in the book that would make ANY of the rambling that had gone on thus far even REMOTELY valid! So the second book ended in the same fashion as the first- no resolutions... TO ANYTHING. It was seriously lacking in climax.

OKAY. SO... onto the third book in the series, "A Lion Among Men." This book followed the Cowardly Lion, (aptly named "Brr") from infancy to adulthood. The story barely dives into the plots of the previous books. The story absolutely did not resolve anything introduced in the others stories. And worst of all, Brr is written to make the reader hate him. Whenever the Lion was given the opportunity to have a quality the reader might consider to be heroic or even likable, Mr. Maguire makes damn sure that it's quickly twisted around to make the Lion seem uneducated, repugnant, and unpopular.

I didn't finish the third book, because in giving Mr. Maguire the benefit of the doubt, I continued reading in hopes that his writing would get better, and some sort of solid tale could be told. I guess I'm just not a fast learner. It took me two and half books to realize that nothing will come of that plot. I will be truly TRULY amazed if somehow, in the last 100 pages of his third book he manages to tie up all the loose plots, and make the reader feel like they hadn't wasted their time.

But that's just my opinion. If anyone wants to borrow my copies of all three of these books, they're available. That way you can at least say you've read them. I haven't seen the show, like I said, but if I had, I might say (for the first time ever) I WISH THE BOOK WAS MORE LIKE THE SHOW!

Toodles!!

Post Numero Uno!!

2009-03-25T09:08:00.002-06:00

Okay, so here it is, blog number one. This really is my first serious blog EVER, so we'll see if I stick to it. BUT - here's a little list of all my blogging goals I hope to achieve:

1. Post as many useless photos as possible.

2. Give bad reviews to all the horrible books I've read

3. Give great reviews to great books, as soon as I read one.

4. Try not to spoil all the great movies I've seen

5. Spoil all the crappy movies I've seen.

6. Prove the theory of intelligent design.

7. Make readers aware of all frivolous facts about me.

8. Give a detailed plan on how to destroy the government.

9. Post all my opinions on everything I'm unqualified to talk about.

10. Maybe tell some jokes.

So I'm just learning how to do this whole blogging thing, really. So readers... (if there are any...) please bare (or is it bear...?) with me.

The Dirty Dishwater Blonde Black Sheep

Dad's anniversary was actually a positive experience!

It's been a while, huh?

Have you checked the Skewed Review yet?

Man, has it been a long time OR WHAT?!

It's been.... years?

Mr. Dixie rocks.

Wait for it...

I've Come A Long Way, Baby.

THE DANGEROUS Wii!!

HOLY CRAP!

The Dixe Sun!

Caution: Nude Turkey

DRIP DRIP DROP

If You EVER Doubted How Cute I Am...

SCREW THANKSGIVING!

"Wisdom"

"Reflection"

It's a vegas TRIP

Aren't I Cute??

Should I Change My Blog Name?

Just a little shout out to Russ

Halloween is the BEST TIME OF THE YEAR!

My Halloween Costume...

The moon...

Fall into Autumn. Get it?

LOTS OF PICTURES!

I HAVE BEEN UBER-BIZZAY!

MORE PICTURES!!

Some New Pictures...

MY NEW CAMERA!!!!

Oh Deer!

Happy Birthday Addi!!!

Vato Is An Upside-down Lamp!

Somewhat Skewed

I'm On The Paper!

I CAN DRIVE!

Today I Can Drive Again! (Hopefully)

Thanks Josh!

It's... interesting I guess...

I Love Gettin' Lovin!

STOP COW, STOP!

The THREES of ME

Guilty Pleasures...?

Our Production Photos!

You See, We're British...

*ugh*

"The Proposal"

Once Upon A Time...

Are These Glasses Too Gay?

R-r-r-ruffels have R-r-r-ridges!

SON OF ROSEMARY.

ALICE in WONDERLAND

The Latest Books!

Poor Chakra Has Died :(

My "Bedfull Costume"

Ooops! I FORGOT ONE!!

Thesbians at the Pool

Random Pictures From My Phone!

I FINISHED ATLAS SHRUGGED!

Time for a NEW COAT...

FEET

I CAN'T... (I have rehearsal!)

What an UGLY dog!

Tales from the Tanning Salon

There's Nothing To Blog About.

The Memorial Day Weekend!

DID'JA MISS ME??

I Need A New Camera!!

The Rocks that Rock

Today I Went Tanning...

Happy B-Day Faja!

99 Truths

The Valley Of Fire!

LOOK HOW CUTE!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Angel's Landing

A Slobbering Love Affair

The "Wicked" Trilogy

Post Numero Uno!!

ugh