Once Upon A Time...

There was a young man by the name of Matthew. He would blog every now and then, and often people would comment. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? He could only assume that everyone was having summer fun, and therefore, could not comment on his blog. He couldn't help feeling that he had no life whatsoever, because he would go to class, then come home and blog...

While everyone else was out working on their real tans, Matthew was spending his spare time in a tanning bed. While others were at Lake Powell, Matthew was in the shower. Where other folks were going to Disneyland and Lagoon, little Matthew had to be content wearing skates behind a self-propelled lawn mower.






But Matthew did not despair, for he put a counter upon his blog, and saw that indeed, people were reading it, there just wasn't any subject matter that warranted a comment, apparently. So our young squire decided that all was not lost, he just needed to post something that people would comment about. And so.......

Are These Glasses Too Gay?

What do u think? I need some feedback here, people.

R-r-r-ruffels have R-r-r-ridges!

...and W-w-w-wadsworths are W-w-w-wonderful!

Yes. I stutter. And I'm even more popular because I admit it. But anyway. On July 4th, since there was no any other important date on the calendar, a good chunk of relatives from my Faja's side of the family gathered in sunny St. G to celebrate our awsomeness. Yes, it was hot, incredibly hot. There was a nice wind, though, so it helped keep us cool/blow all our crap around. It was so much fun. If you are on the Wadsworth/Jacobson/Horlacher/Anyone else I can't think of's side right now, and you didn't come...then you MISSED OUT, SUCKAZ!

Madre and I brought little rocks and paints so that we could paint little rocks. Genius idea, no? Apparently not, because NOBODY wanted to paint rocks. HOWEVER... a few people did want their faces painted. So, the Master of Paints, aka yours truly, began stamping each person's face with a different symbol. Well, not really, considering most people wanted little American flags... Addi wanted a pink heart to match her pink life. Kinda hard to see in this picture, though.


Madre desired a little daisy with purple petals. I actually did a star on her arm later on, that was so rad, and somehow, I forgot to TAKE A FLiPPiN' picture of it! Grr. I'm about ready to Opus Dei myself. (If you haven't read/seen Divinci Code, you probably won't get that reference...)




Ahhh, sweet Joanne. Sweet, unoriginal Joanne. She saw my mom's flower, and wanted one of her own. She asked for a purple to match her shirt. (I only had one color of shiny purple, but a few bottles of it, so I just pulled out another bottle and told her it was a different color... SHHH.... don't tell anyone!) It still looked cute, though!

Paul got the first American Flag of the day. By the last American Flag I had done, they looked perfect. Paul was a serious champ for allowing me to make a semi-lopsided flag on his cheek. We're all patriots at the Wadsworth family reunion! Or wait... I meant the kuzzin' karnival! ...my bad.

This is Brianna's daughter... (if I remember correctly...) and she got a glittering star on her cheek. So adorable. I was impressed at how the glitter paint seemed to last through everything, even splashing around in the kiddie pool, and sliding down the enormous inflatable water slide that I was TOO FAT TO GO ON! Grrrrrrr.

Rhonda's Ameri-heart was my first masterpiece of the day. I was/am/always will be proud of this little heart. I feel like a true Mormon housewife with her crafter's instinct. Next thing you know, I'll be scrapbooking up a storm! Wait... isn't blogging kind of like scrapbooking??? RELIEF SOCIETY MEMBERS... UNITE!

Payson's is my favorite fo'sho. He wiggled around a lot, so the skull and crossbones isn't quite uniform, but none-the-less, it emits pure radness.

...

After the day's festivities were over, and all the cousins were on their way back home or to their respective hotels/friend's houses, Madre and I went to see the flick "Public Enemies." Brinton was telling me how this was the first movie to be shot completely in digital, absolutely no film, and that parts of it actually had to be grained, because the picture was WAY too sharp. I HAVE TO AGREE! There were parts of the movie that were so sharp it hurt my eyes! What in interestingly new experience. Oh yeah, and the plot and acting was great too... as long as you don't pay attention to Christian Bale. As everyone knows, if I find out an actor or actress is just pure evil in real life, it makes me like him/her less on screen. So besides Christian Bale, other cractors (crappy actors) on my list include Tom Cruise and Russell Crow! Incidentally, my bro-in-law, Matt, loves all three of those guys!

And finally, at the end of the day, there were fireworks. I tried taking a picture of some of them, but my camera is old and testy. It's like that girl/boyfriend that everyone has had/has who gets pissed off over the smallest things. Long story short, I couldn't get a fireworks picture. But I did get a picture of me looking exhausted, laying on the grass with my pillow.

SON OF ROSEMARY.

Was it worth the read? OH MY GOOD HELL...(pun intended)... right up to the LAST FIVE PAGES I thought it was GRAND!!!

Oh, and by the way... if you ever read the book, don't fret too much about "Roast Mules." (it's an anagram in the book, which is so inconclusive, it's laughable.) IT'S SOMERSAULT. Trust me, it makes about as much sense here as it does in the book. (Which I'm sure to all of you... is no sense at all. My point exactly.)

Anyway. I loved the ending... right until the very end.

Someone, please read it, so I can compare notes!

ALICE in WONDERLAND

TIM BURTON needs to HURRY UP and FINISH this movie!!!! I could give or take Anne Hatheway... but I'm most looking forward to Helen Bonham Carter as the Red Queen! She's hot & nasty!!! And who doesn't love Johnny Depp? Christopher Lee is also in the film, and I can't wait any longer. I know... 2010. I can't understand why some people don't like Tim Burton's re-inventions of older concepts. I thought "Chocolate Factory" was SO inspired! No, it wasn't true to the book, but I think it was true to Dahl. And if anyone could be true to Lewis Carrol, it's Tim Burton! I think if you go to the theater not expecting the movie to be like the book, you'll find you love the movie better. I seriously almost wet myself every time I see photos of the film-in-progress. Damn... time to change my undies.

The Latest Books!

I've finished TWO whole books, and a third is almost done! Granted, they are easy reads, but still very interesting! All three are by writer Ira Levin, who also wrote the play "Deathtrap!"

First on the list is "The Stepford Wives." I know! "A novel?" you ask. I said the same thing when my Madre told me she'd ordered the book. What an interesting read, though. The movie that was made in the 70's is almost a carbon copy of the book, whereas the newer film (kinda funny, though full of plot-holes) pretty much has the same character names, and that's it. The few differences are spoilers, so I can't really disclose them here.

My favorite part in "The Stepford Wives" book is when Joanna is playing hostess to a few members of the Men's Association, and she is in the kitchen, when "Diz" ("Mike" in the new movie) comes in and looks at her. She tells him that it's odd that he worked at Disneyland, because he didn't seem like the type of person who liked to make other people happy. To that he replied, "You don't know me very well at all, then."


Secondly, was "Rosemary's Baby." Now, I've seen the movie made in 1969, and again, I was hoping to find there were some things that the book had to offer that the movie didn't. Like the first "Stepford Wives" movie, the "Rosemary's Baby" movie was pretty much everything the book was! Again, there were a couple of things the movie left out, but they were things at the VERY END of the book, so I can't really divulge those plot points. It was an intriguing book, and it helped me realize some things that kind of didn't make sense in the movie. Good book, though! And since it was written in 1967, there are a couple of racial slurs that I don't think would fly by today's standards...



And finally, the book I'm working on right now is "Son of Rosemary." I, like my mother, was surprised to find out there was a sequel to "Rosemary's Baby." This book, however, was written in 1998. It's also a very interesting read, and so far, parts of it make me squirm a little. The story picks up later on in Rosemary's life, when her son is 33 years old. (Do you get the biblical reference? It's the same age Jesus was when he died... and I also realized the similarities in names: Mary and Rosemary.) The book starts off with Rosemary waking up from a 20-something year coma, and she finds her son is this great celebrity, a "great uniter." The whole world loves him. I won't go into any more detail, or I might start to give away the plot. It's not really scary, but it is intriguing!

Poor Chakra Has Died :(

Ma got home last night, and found little "Shocky" had passed away. I know I always made jokes about how it was "time to put him down," but now that he's gone, I'm kinda sad!

I got him when I was 20 years old, and I think he was about 2 then. I remember that I had to bring him from Salt Lake to St. George on the bus. Only they wouldn't ALLOW him on the bus. So my brother Taylor and I took everything out of my backpack, and Chakra fit RIGHT INSIDE. (I know. Someone call PETA, right?) But he was so quiet, and pretty much slept the whole time. Every time the bus stopped, we'd take Chakra out and he'd run around and play until it was time to hide again.

The guy who sat in the seat on the aisle across from us kept noticing my backpack would move occasionally. Luckily, he didn't alert the bus driver.

When my dad saw Chakra, he told my mom, "There's no way in HELL we're keeping that dog!" Who would have known that not much later, Chakra and Matt Sr. would be inseparable. Everywhere Matt went, Chakra was sure to follow. Whenever Matt kicked back in the recliner to watch some TV, Chakra had to be on his lap. Matt even taught Chakra a cute trick: Dad would yell, "Where's Timmy? Is Timmy in the well?" and Chakra would RUN to show you where Timmy was! (Timmy happened to be where Dad kept the dog treats. Still... it was hilarious.)

Chakra thought sneezing was a trick. He'd sit in front of you and sneeze and sneeze in hopes of receiving a treat. It was funny/cute/annoying. I'll miss that hay-fevered pooch.

Chakra was even in a play with Laura and myself. In "Midsummer Night's Dream" he played Theseus's (my character) lap dog.

He was the best watchdog. Even though he'd be no match for an intruder, he always alerted us to anybody's presence. Chakra was a little punk, it's true, because he only cared about treats. But, he was my little punk, (or rather, my Dad's little punk) and I'll miss him.