Thanks Josh!

As pretty much everyone knows now, Scott Pederson passed away, and his funeral was this past Thursday. He was awesome, and he gave his life to save his kids from drowning. He's a hero, and although I didn't know him as well as lots of my friends, we still got to do the two-man show "Dumbwaiter" together, and it was a blast. He and I were the two hitmen, and Josh Scott directed it. I only wish I would have taken the time to get to know him a lot better.

That's Scott on the right, me on the left. He was ALWAYS so hilarious! It was a pleasure working with him. Between Scott and Josh, there was never a dull nor tedious moment during this show!

It's... interesting I guess...

So my buddy Russ has this whole Egyptian fetish, and I've been painting some pictures for him lately. He recently found a small picture of an Egyptian railroad poster that he wanted me to turn into a big painting. So this is on a two-foot tall canvas. Pretty interesting, eh?

It's not the Victorian poster art that I love, and it's not retro... but I like it and am proud of it because I REALLY got detailed with it!

I Love Gettin' Lovin!

Everyone thinks I'm great! :)

STOP COW, STOP!

This was in Pine Valley. Mom loved that this cow/bull was just grazing by the stop sign. We drove up to the cow, and yelled "HEY! KNOCK IT OFF!" really loud, and the cow gave me this really pissed off look, like it was saying, "Don't you tell me what to do, suckah!" And Ma said she was scared the cow might try to ram us. I guess I'm pretty good at getting a cow's goat. (Cow's goat? Doesn't that just BLOW your mind?)

And here we are! Outside Jimmy John's in St. Jorge. Yours truly, Laura and Matt. What a fun weekend we had! The five of us, (Laura, Matt, Ma, Colin and me) all causing a ruckus in Pine Valley. Love to my bro and sis who are going to move into their new home PRETTY SOON!!

The THREES of ME

Alrighty, so a while ago, I did my 99 TRUTHS, and now my cuzzin' Alexis has sent to me the THREE'S OF ME. So... enjoy.

Three names I go by:

1. EmCHAY

2. You little bastard!

3. Inmate #577324

Three Jobs I have had in my life:

1. One I can't remember

2. One I don't wanna talk about

3. The one I have right now.

Three Places I have lived:

1.In a house

2.In the state of Utah

3.In the state of denial

Three Favorite drinks:

1. Gasoline

2. Powdered Milk (powdered form only... no water)

3. Goat's blood

Three TV Shows that I watch:

1. Sewing with Nancy

2. The Farm Report

3. Any channel with snow on it

Three places I have been:

1. Here...

2. There...

3. And you guessed it......................................... over here again.

People that text me regularly:

1. Sasha and Malia Obama

2. The Obama dog, whatever it's name is.

3. Kim Jong Il. (He's planning something. Shh. Don't tell anyone.)

Three of my favorite foods:

1. Babies

2. Puppies

3. Rare stamps and documents

Three friends I think will respond

1. Me

2. Myself

3. And..... you guessed it.............................. Russ

Three Things I am looking forward to

1. New socks

2. Hip reduction surgery

3. December 21, 2012

Three of my fav. things

1. Doorbells

2. Sleigh bells

3. Schnitzel with noodles

Guilty Pleasures...?

Or Unhealthy Obsessions?

I want to have children, but there are only five women with whom I'd like to be a proud parent. It's a little unnatural considering two of them are dead, but if they were alive, I would surely be arrested for stalking five fabulous women. As of now, however, I may only be arrested for stalking three of them.


Miss Parker Posey. She's my indie queen. Although she's been going mainstream lately, she's still my off-the-beaten-path movie princess. From her fabulous wardrobe in "Party Girl," to her fabulous portrayal of a snobby debutante in "House of Yes," one would have to be blind to miss out on her ab-fab existence. Look at that poise! The Poise of Posey. Of course, if you haven't seen any of the Christopher Guest films, "Waiting for Guffman," "Best in Show," "A Mighty Wind," and "For Your Consideration," you are MISSING OUT. It's obvious that she and I would create adorable children.

Miss Audrey Hepburn. She turned the tables on beautiful starlets. Where once it was super to be busty and blonde, Audrey came around and made it chic to look slender. Look at those almond eyes! She was absolutely fabulous in "Breakfast at Tiffany's," but who can refute that? And of course she was beautiful in the far superior "Sabrina," although the movie was flawed because Miss Hepburn was gorgeous before and after she went to Paris. From tear-jerkers like "Roman Holiday," to suspense-comedies like "Charade," she is the ultimate Cinema darling! Oh, and don't forget "My Fair Lady!" *sigh* Oh Audrey... if only I were alive during the 60's. I wonder if she got a chance to freeze her eggs? I need to look into that...

Lady Gaga. Some people say she's the new Madonna. WHAT? Please. Lady Gaga is far superior to Madonna in every way, shape, and form. She's definitely cuter. If I ran into Madonna in a dark alley, I would scream, because she's a hideous old troll who hit her last peak with the album "Music." If I ran into Lady Gaga in a dark alley, I would jump for joy. Her album "Fame" is so interesting! There are no two songs alike, and the genres range from dance, to hip hop, to up-beat ska. She's versatile and ever-so-gorgeous. And who can resist her super-cute outfits and eccentric personality? She's got ultra-intriguing music videos, and I bet she's a blast to kick it with. Yes, our babies would be beautiful.

Although I find Audrey super-sexy, please don't misunderstand that I don't appreciate the beauty of the blonde bomshell! Yes, I know that Miss Marilyn Monroe wasn't the first boob-a-licious platinum-topped babe to grace the silver screen, but she definitely was the most popular. Jayne Mansfield can take a flying leap, because Marilyn is the definitive end. She was always the leading lady in musical comedies like "Some Like It Hot," (one of the first drag movies!) and "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes." (Diamonds are a girl's best friend, y'all!) She was also able to show the world her dramatic side before her tragic end in movies like "Bus Stop" and "Niagara." It's true she had a troubled life, but I'm sure she's in heaven right now, looking down proudly at everything she left for posterity. Marilyn+Matt=freakin' good lookin' kids.

And finally, Lady Miss Kier! This deeeliteful darling was once the face we all adored in the sensational group "Deee-lite." It was she who brought us the ever-so-wonderful song "Groove Is In The Heart," which basically kicked off the dance craze, and was the start of everything we know to be dance today! Her sense of style has always been supah-fab. Today, she is off on her own, with a solo career and many appearances at festivities world-wide. I was fortunate enough to see her spin in Park City some years ago, and she is as gorgeous as ever. If you are not familiar with any of her recent work, go pick up the album "Essence," and listen to Miss Kier's lovely vocals. Can you imagine the Deee-lovely children the two of us could make? I can.

Our Production Photos!

Alrighty, so we have one more show to do, and then it's all over. So, if you didn't get to see it, you MISSED OUT! But hopefully, I can provide you with the next best thing... some of my favorite production shots!

My first entrance! The line is, "Who the hell is that?" I can't tell you why Bryan is in the middle of tugging his trousers up... too much explaining, and this is going to be a long blog... so the less explaining... the better.

My line here is, "Oh you FILTHY SWINE! LEAVE HER ALONE!" By the way, these pictures aren't in the order they are in the show. I'm WAAAYYY too lazy to actually PUT them in order.

"PLEASE, this costume is only rented!" Yeah. This is the non-climax. Everyone said it was a super ending... I beg to differ, though.

As I'm grabbing Bryan's butt, I'm saying, "Now that's enough of that!" Bryan's faces are like Master Card commercials. Priceless.

My character is obsessed with his mistress... and the fact that she's cheating on him. Who would have thunk it? Here, I'm about to tell my "on the side girlyfriend" that "My wife and I are playing on the bed, but if all four of us join in, we could use the table!"

What you can't see in this picture, but what Karack (Josh) is obviously noticing is... that Simone's (Hannah) nun outfit is non-existent in the back... and she's exposing full undies!

This is Helga (Dani) and I trying not to notice "nun mit bare bum."

Karack wanting a contribution to his reindeer fund. Yeah, I realize it doesn't make a lick-a-sense. Doesn't in the show, either.

I need to pee something fierce, but Stanley won't allow me to, because he's hiding my wife in the bathroom. It's a sordid little show.

I'm just going to let this picture speak for itself.

Stanley and Claude, fighting over the last room... and Heinz, the manager, who is on his way to a drag ball. Well, not really, but wouldn't that make the show even more fun?

Claude mistakes Brenda (Katy) for Helga, and jumps in bed with her. This is definitely the highlight of the show for me. I get to sleep with Katy.

Oh wait, THIS is the highlight of the show for me. So soft...

You See, We're British...

AND WE'RE ON HOLIDAY!

Here we are, from left to right, Josh as Karack, Me as Claude, Katy as Brenda, AJ as Heinz, Bryan as Stanley, Danalee as Helga, and Hannah as Simone. We are all enjoying our "5 Hour Energy" shots before curtain! If you haven't seen our show, "We're British and we're on holiday," is the best line from "Bedfull of Foreigners." :)

*ugh*

I've had to change my "hit counter" like 7 times...

because the websites that offer them, keep screwing up!! Hopefully, this website, (www.website-hit-counters.com) will actually have a site that keeps RUNNING ALL THE TIME... What's the point of having a counter if I can't SEE it??? And, while I adore the argyle on the sides of my blog, I'm not a big fan of the paisley in the background. I wish I knew how to write code. I would just fix all this nonsense myself! *sigh* So anyway. How are you doin?

"The Proposal"

Madre and I just saw this movie! Ummm... predictable, and could have been funnier, but it had it's cute moments.

But let me just say this: For those of you who take Ambien, it is definately I wise idea to go to sleep before they kick in, and hope it doesn't kick in while you are trying to POST ON YOUR BLOG. Because THAT is the situation I'm in right now. "Why don't you just STOP posting, and go to bed," you ask? "BECAUSE. I've already started and I COULDN'T sleep knowing I had half a blog sitting on my laptop, waiting to be finished!" Then you say, "But, your one line under the picture sums it up. Everything afterward is just blather." and I say, "What THE HECK IS BLATHER?" So you see, or maybe you don't, don't take PRESCRIPTION SLEEPING PILLS, and then BLOG. GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY.

Once Upon A Time...

There was a young man by the name of Matthew. He would blog every now and then, and often people would comment. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? He could only assume that everyone was having summer fun, and therefore, could not comment on his blog. He couldn't help feeling that he had no life whatsoever, because he would go to class, then come home and blog...

While everyone else was out working on their real tans, Matthew was spending his spare time in a tanning bed. While others were at Lake Powell, Matthew was in the shower. Where other folks were going to Disneyland and Lagoon, little Matthew had to be content wearing skates behind a self-propelled lawn mower.






But Matthew did not despair, for he put a counter upon his blog, and saw that indeed, people were reading it, there just wasn't any subject matter that warranted a comment, apparently. So our young squire decided that all was not lost, he just needed to post something that people would comment about. And so.......

Are These Glasses Too Gay?

What do u think? I need some feedback here, people.

R-r-r-ruffels have R-r-r-ridges!

...and W-w-w-wadsworths are W-w-w-wonderful!

Yes. I stutter. And I'm even more popular because I admit it. But anyway. On July 4th, since there was no any other important date on the calendar, a good chunk of relatives from my Faja's side of the family gathered in sunny St. G to celebrate our awsomeness. Yes, it was hot, incredibly hot. There was a nice wind, though, so it helped keep us cool/blow all our crap around. It was so much fun. If you are on the Wadsworth/Jacobson/Horlacher/Anyone else I can't think of's side right now, and you didn't come...then you MISSED OUT, SUCKAZ!

Madre and I brought little rocks and paints so that we could paint little rocks. Genius idea, no? Apparently not, because NOBODY wanted to paint rocks. HOWEVER... a few people did want their faces painted. So, the Master of Paints, aka yours truly, began stamping each person's face with a different symbol. Well, not really, considering most people wanted little American flags... Addi wanted a pink heart to match her pink life. Kinda hard to see in this picture, though.


Madre desired a little daisy with purple petals. I actually did a star on her arm later on, that was so rad, and somehow, I forgot to TAKE A FLiPPiN' picture of it! Grr. I'm about ready to Opus Dei myself. (If you haven't read/seen Divinci Code, you probably won't get that reference...)




Ahhh, sweet Joanne. Sweet, unoriginal Joanne. She saw my mom's flower, and wanted one of her own. She asked for a purple to match her shirt. (I only had one color of shiny purple, but a few bottles of it, so I just pulled out another bottle and told her it was a different color... SHHH.... don't tell anyone!) It still looked cute, though!

Paul got the first American Flag of the day. By the last American Flag I had done, they looked perfect. Paul was a serious champ for allowing me to make a semi-lopsided flag on his cheek. We're all patriots at the Wadsworth family reunion! Or wait... I meant the kuzzin' karnival! ...my bad.

This is Brianna's daughter... (if I remember correctly...) and she got a glittering star on her cheek. So adorable. I was impressed at how the glitter paint seemed to last through everything, even splashing around in the kiddie pool, and sliding down the enormous inflatable water slide that I was TOO FAT TO GO ON! Grrrrrrr.

Rhonda's Ameri-heart was my first masterpiece of the day. I was/am/always will be proud of this little heart. I feel like a true Mormon housewife with her crafter's instinct. Next thing you know, I'll be scrapbooking up a storm! Wait... isn't blogging kind of like scrapbooking??? RELIEF SOCIETY MEMBERS... UNITE!

Payson's is my favorite fo'sho. He wiggled around a lot, so the skull and crossbones isn't quite uniform, but none-the-less, it emits pure radness.

...

After the day's festivities were over, and all the cousins were on their way back home or to their respective hotels/friend's houses, Madre and I went to see the flick "Public Enemies." Brinton was telling me how this was the first movie to be shot completely in digital, absolutely no film, and that parts of it actually had to be grained, because the picture was WAY too sharp. I HAVE TO AGREE! There were parts of the movie that were so sharp it hurt my eyes! What in interestingly new experience. Oh yeah, and the plot and acting was great too... as long as you don't pay attention to Christian Bale. As everyone knows, if I find out an actor or actress is just pure evil in real life, it makes me like him/her less on screen. So besides Christian Bale, other cractors (crappy actors) on my list include Tom Cruise and Russell Crow! Incidentally, my bro-in-law, Matt, loves all three of those guys!

And finally, at the end of the day, there were fireworks. I tried taking a picture of some of them, but my camera is old and testy. It's like that girl/boyfriend that everyone has had/has who gets pissed off over the smallest things. Long story short, I couldn't get a fireworks picture. But I did get a picture of me looking exhausted, laying on the grass with my pillow.