I CAN'T... (I have rehearsal!)

DRAMA GEEKS think they are SO rad.

Hammer time! I play "Claude" the adulterous, lying Englishman who accidentally runs into his wife while taking a vacation in France with his mistress, Simone.

Here is Brian. Or is it spelled Bryan? Eh, who cares. He and I go way back... to the days of "Secret Garden." We're united again in the comedy "Bedfull of Foreigners." Bri/yan plays "Stanley," a sexually repressed fellow on vacation. Those two midgets you see here are his two kids, Roman and Portia. They come to most of the rehearsals. Drama Geek number 1, and his two Drama Geeklettes. Rehearsal is fun/stressful!

And here we see the lighting grid of the claustrophobia inducing black box theatre. As of now, it looks barren and dull. But come showtime, it will be adorned like some psychotic Christmas tree with multicolored lights pointing in every direction. The best part about the "grid" are the two access platforms. You get on it, and then pull yourself, and the platform, across the ceiling. When I was in "Heubner," we often had platform races.

Hanna (in the blue) and Josh (guy without hair) are so involved! Talk about dedication! While they were busy studying their scripts with intensity, I was busy taking pictures of stuff. Hanna plays "Simone," the French cabaret dancer/slut, and Josh plays the Slovak bellman, "Karak," of the rundown hotel that all the foreigners are staying at. Drama Geeks # 2 and 3!

Ah, the birth of a new set is always exhilarating! As of now, it may seem gloomy, drab, and lifeless, but as soon as it's completely finished, it will be a glorious facade of a gloomy, drab, and lifeless hotel. Josh does pretty much all the building and painting. He's such a multi-tasker. Not only is he in "Bedfull of Foreigners" with us, as well as building the set, he's also in "Black Comedy," and building that set too! "Black Comedy" is part of the revolving show schedule this summer.

Here we have Drama Geek # 4. Dani Barlow Dyal. (Bri/yan's wife.) She plays "Helga," my "clean" and "cold" wife. It's quite unfortunate that although she plays my spouse in the show, I don't get to make out with her even once. I get to make out with Hanna a lot, though. But I really wanna make out with Dani while Brian watches. Does that make me sick? Wait, what am I asking you for? I already know I'm sick. If I wasn't I wouldn't be participating in the Theatre.

The set is coming together. The doorknob was a little dirty, so Hannah decided to clean it up. That dirty door handle was a problem, but in the end, we got it licked! GET IT? GET IT??

Ahh, the famed rehearsal room. Classroom number 156 in the Eccles Fine Arts Center. Here's the view of the mirrored wall. That dapper fellow who isn't really involved with the rest of the group, sitting on those cubes, happens to be myself, holding up the camera, making sure this image is forever preserved in blogdom.

Here's a little blast from the past! This is the Nazi Eagle that hung over the tribunal in the final scene of "Heubner." That show was a little heavy, but it was a great experience! My dad, my sister Laura, and myself were ALL cast members in that show! I played "Karl-Heinz Shnibbe," Laura played Heubner's Madre, and Faja played Heubner and Karl Heinz's public defender.


And of course, Drama Geek number 5 is me. I don't really have many pictures of myself from the show because I was too busy snapping all the photos. So I decided to include this painting. My buddy Russ just moved to a new house, and he's decorating with a modern Egyptian theme in his front room. He asked me to do a painting, and this is what I did! He's getting it framed, and it's hanging on one of the walls in his front room. This has nothing to do with "Bedfull of Foreigners," but I'm proud of this particular painting, so I had to include it.

We have like, one more week of rehearsal left. We were supposed to be memorized not last Friday, but the Friday before that. WHAT A JOKE! I think only one of the cast members is completely memorized.

What an UGLY dog!

THIS IS VATO!

I was bored the other day, and decided to have a little photo session with Russ's dog, Vato. He is the ugliest little puppy in the world. His face is smashed, and his eyes are at 10 and 2.


This is Vato's favorite toy: the vicious blue hippo. He kills this little hippo several times a day.

Here is his royal highness in his plush furry throne. I wish I had something this soft so sleep on!

Seriously, is he looking in two directions at once??? He is SO wall-eyed! I don't understand how he can even see where he's going.

Tales from the Tanning Salon

Tanning is EASIER than losing weight!

Going tanning always makes me feel better. I love emerging from the bed feeling crispy! It's nice to relax in the bright heat of the artificial sunlight. I'm often lulled to sleep by the harmonious humming of the high-watt bulbs. While I'm constantly trying to drop that extra ten pounds, I find that I'm a little more secure about myself when I'm tan. Because, as we all know, tanned fat looks better than white fat!

In the photo above, I was trying to capture my beautiful white teeth in the reflection of the mirror behind the lamps. Instead, all I got was the image of my camera. I would have tried again, but I didn't want to get any camera-tan lines. Yes, the tanning bed is better than Proactiv for the face, and makes my butt look cute! (Too bad nobody sees my butt except me... but still) I love to use an accelerator with a bronze and a tingle. If you've never been tanning, you probably don't know what I'm talking about. So... Google it, I guess. ANYWAY, the tingle makes my skin feel itchy, which is kind of fun, and I always come out smelling like freshly baked cookies! I may smell like the Pillsbury dough-boy, but I'm about 16 or 17 shades darker!

There's Nothing To Blog About.

Much A'blog About Nothing!

Have you ever had one of those truly un-blogworthy days? The kind of day where you WANT to update your life, but there's nothing really interesting enough that's worth telling? Today is one of those days. So even though the following things may be interesting and entertaining to only myself...I found the need to share them with everyone.

This is my best friend's new pug puppy. His name was Vato, then Russ changed it to Pugly, then back to Vato. This is one ugly and confused dog.
This is my shoe. I'm not a punk, but I decided my shoe had to have a skull on it. Because deep down, I want to be a pirate.

This is my watch. See how well it matches my shoes? I'm like... a Tim Burton offspring or something.

If you ever wondered what it looks like up my nostrils...now you know. By the way, in the left nostril, that's not a booger. It's my bumpy septum. I wouldn't post a picture of my nose full of boogers. I'm a little more self-aware than that.

Here I am laughing at you for taking the time to read this particular post of absolutely zero substance! Aren't I rad? Oh, and by the way, happy birthday to my cuz' Nicole.

The Memorial Day Weekend!

Here's The Whole Friggin' Clan!I love family pictures like this. They're so much more fun than those stupid boring posed pictures. BLAH. I think in the pictures where everyone is just smiling and holding perfectly still, it looks like everybody is just grinning angrily and squeezing their butt cheeks together.

Sweet little Addi and Payson! These kids are so flippin' funny. Of course, Addi had to be bribed to actually smile in the pictures, and Payson had to be injected with drugs. Other than that... perfect little kids. (Just kidding about the drug injections... not the bribery.)

Here's the lovely Ladies of the Jacobson-Edwards club. Kelli, Addi, and Laura. They are my sistah, sistah-in-law, and first niece. The reason I like this picture so much, is because it looks like Laura is holding her pee in. Love it.

And the men of the family. Matt, Myself (the manliest of the men), Taylor, and little Payson. I am in the perfect position in this photo, because Matt and Taylor are covering up my lovely handles and my man-boobs.

If I were truly a sick person, this would be my wedding announcement photo. "Mr. Trooper and Mrs. Cola would like to announce the wedding of their daughter, Scout, to Matthew Jacobson."




Thanks for getting that peanut butter off my ear, scout. I knew I shouldn't have taken a nap on the sandwich. My dog is always lookin' out for me!

I'm super studly as I dig the weed roots out from uncle Hugh's headstone. We spiffed up that whole Jacobson area in under an hour! Super Cemetery Spiffing Powers - UNITE!

Taylor, Lindsay, some handsome devil, Krista, Matt, Laura, Brenda, Kirk, and Kristine. We toiled in the cool mountain air, and then went back to the house and gained weight by stuffing ourselves full of bratwurst. It was a good day.



And finally... under the eave of our porch, this robin built a shaggy looking nest, and has, I assume, laid some eggs and is now awaiting the hatch. I can't wait to feed those baby birds to the hawk I see around the valley!! Someone call PETA please.

DID'JA MISS ME??

I'm BACK! I don't get internet service in my home town of Pine Valley... and since I've been trapped there for the past two weeks... alas. No bloggenshtein.

But, while I was helping my Madre recover from surgery, I took some pretty spring pictures that I thought I'd share with the world. Kisses!

Above you can see a branch with some leaves. That's how bored I was. I was taking pictures of sticks.

So THAT'S where my wagon went!



The camo-fairy. She's ready to go hunting.

Shamrocks... and a regular rock. I wonder if you got an absorbant stone that wouldn't drip and holds ten times it's weight in liquid... would you call it a SHAMrock? (instead of SHAMWOW... get it? GET IT?)

Little baby purple pinecones. They look like little strawberries! I found out the hard way, that they don't taste like little strawberries, though.

This beautiful lilac blossom was the only one on it's part of the bush. So... would you call that... A FRAGRANT VAGRANT? GET IT???????

Cluster-cones.

HOLY CRAP... that grass is GREEN! I'm such a good gardner! (thanks to photoshop.)

You can't see it, but there's beez in them treez. They make the HUNNY, we make the MUNNY! *sigh* Too much Bee Movie.

I like the way this picture turned out... cuz it's dramatic and such... but to line up the sun exactly how I wanted it, I had to look directly at it. K, IT HURT, especially since I had to take like 4 shots to get it right. I still see the negative of this image when I close my eyes.

The sun was draining the flowers of their pretty color, so I had to pump up the purple on my computer. I like it, cuz they look like they're glowing. Far out. Oh my gosh... PSYCHEDELIC... FLOWER POWER!

SCOUTY!!!
She's such a cute girl! I WUB HER SOOO MUCH! (Last sentence to be read as if you are talking to a puppy.)

Here's another one of those "looking at the sun" pictures. I think this one is my favorite. It's like heaven is opening up and peeing sunlight all over the back of this tree's head.

This is the FIRST TIME I've ever looked at this ivy up close.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? THIS IS IVY.

Well, thanks for stopping by. My next blog will be much sooner, I think. Toodles, my lovelies!

I Need A New Camera!!

Everyone look at my new Creation blog. It's super special - JUST LIKE ME!
http://proofofcreation.blogspot.com






This is a formal call to anyone who got a new camera recently! GIVE ME YOUR OLD ONE! Look at what I have to work with right now!!! It's about as thick as a cell phone from the 80's, and the back screen doesn't work when you're taking a picture.

Now I know you're asking yourself, "How is he taking a picture of the camera... if he's holding the camera in his hand...?" Blows your mind, doesn't it?? DOESN'T IT???

Okay, I took the picture with my cell phone.

Yeah, so if anyone has a camera that they just replaced.... please, help ME to replace my camera from 2000! Kisses! *muah*